Why I Love America

Because no matter how hard you try to impose a narrative onto its people, they still figure out ways to screw with it. Take Iowa. Remember when Edwards had it locked up? Or Romney? Maybe you’ll recall Clinton’s double-digit lead in New Hampshire. Every pundit that sagely pronounced, well, anything should take a deep breath and remember this moment — when Democrats in Iowa are in a three-way tie, Mike “He Needs to Win the Straw Poll” Huckabee has the R lead and John McCain staggering towards a NH win like A ZOMBIE THAT CANNOT BE STOPPED — and proceed accordingly. And by this I mean: Fewer prediction! More facts! The importance of opinions does not increase with size of circulation, but the responsibility to be accurate does! If I never hear the word “likable” in conjunction with a certain female Democrat again, it’ll be too soon! I need to stop drinking coffee in the afternoon!