Grandpa Cheney

The Weekly Standard reproduces the following letter written by Cheney during his time as “Acting President.” The magazine implies that this document somehow counters how he is “caricatured” as “Darth Vader.” Uhm, yeah, it’s real… warm:

Dear Kate, Elizabeth, Grace, Philip, Richard and Sam,

As I write this, our nation is engaged in a war with terrorists of global reach. My principal focus as Vice President has been to help protect the American people and our way of life. The vigilance, diligence and unwavering commitment of those who protect our Nation has kept us safe from terrorist attacks of the kind we faced on September 11, 2001. We owe a special debt of gratitude to the members of our armed forces, intelligence agencies, law enforcement agencies and others who serve and sacrifice to keep us safe and free.

As you grow, you will come to understand the sacrifices that each generation makes to preserve freedom and democracy for future generations, and you will assume the important responsibilities of citizens in our society. I ask of you as my grandchildren what I asked of my daughters, that you always strive in your lives to do what is right.

May God bless and protect you.
Richard B. Cheney
Acting President of the United States
(Grandpa Cheney)

I mean, he’s Cheney, so maybe he talks to them in this stilted but terrifying way all the time. But “YOU WILL ALL DIE” as a subtext? I guess it worked in 2004.

I can’t wait until they’re teenagers and start giving him crap about deferments. “Sure, ‘keep us safe,’ Pops, like you did in NAM?”

And the “Grandpa Cheney” bit? Really? Last names for the grandparents? That’s not over formal or anything, no…

Related Topics: Uncategorized
  • Latest on Swampland

    Rick Santorum Wants to Fight ‘The Dangers Of Contraception’

    Candidates often say things when polling in the single digits that come back to haunt them when they start leading the polls. Last October, Rick Santorum gave an interview with an Evangelical blog called Caffeinated Thoughts, in which he said contraception is “not okay,” and that this would be a public policy issue he would tackle as President. In particular, he said he would “get rid of any idea that you have to have abortion coverage or contraceptive coverage” as a government policy. Start watching the following video at 17:55.

    Romney: I Was A 'Severely Conservative' GovernorHuffPost Politics

    Occupy the Regulatory Open Comment Period!

    There’s nothing “wrong” with protests built around placard-hoisting and park-squatting, but Occupy the SEC is definitely doing something right with its radically different tack. The OWS-offshoot has submitted a 325-page letter to federal financial regulatory agencies on the Volcker Rule, a controversial measure designed to prohibit banks from proprietary trading, or making investments with their own dollars rather than their customers’, that was passed as part of the Dodd-Frank financial reform law.

blog comments powered by Disqus