Romney’s Shaggy Dog Story

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I can’t be the only one who finds, in this anecdote, something else entirely besides, “emotion-free crisis management”:

Before beginning the drive, Mitt Romney put Seamus, the family’s hulking Irish setter, in a dog carrier and attached it to the station wagon’s roof rack. He’d built a windshield for the carrier, to make the ride more comfortable for the dog.


As the oldest son, Tagg Romney commandeered the way-back of the wagon, keeping his eyes fixed out the rear window, where he glimpsed the first sign of trouble. ”Dad!” he yelled. ”Gross!” A brown liquid was dripping down the back window, payback from an Irish setter who’d been riding on the roof in the wind for hours.

As the rest of the boys joined in the howls of disgust, Romney coolly pulled off the highway and into a service station. There, he borrowed a hose, washed down Seamus and the car, then hopped back onto the highway. It was a tiny preview of a trait he would grow famous for in business: emotion-free crisis management.

Unless by “emotion-free” you mean, “the kind of cold fish who could feel no emotion about strapping his dog to the roof of his car.” As for a preview to his “crisis management.” Well, wow: Hosing down the dog and the car! Friggin’ genius! The kind of out-of-the-box solution only a Mormon could come up with, really. No wonder he saved the Olympics!

In all seriousness, because it bears repeating, the truly out-of-the-box solution he hit upon here is strapping his dog to the roof of his car. Who else thought this little story would end with the dog not crapping itself but, you know, dead? Also, if this really is some kind of trademark approach, I can’t wait to hear what he thinks the “roadmap to peace” means. Israel calls shotgun!