Sarah Palin’s New Book About the “War on Christmas,” As a Recipe

Ingredients include calls to action, evangelism and offhand comments about wild things that could only happen in Alaska

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Matt Smith / Express-Times / Landov

Former Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin signs her new book “Good Tidings and Great Joy: Protecting the Heart of Christmas” and greets customers during an appearance at Barnes and Noble on Nov. 12, 2013, in Bethlehem Township, Pa.

Sarah Palin ends her new book, Good Tidings and Great Joy: Protecting the Heart of Christmas, with a collection of family recipes—starting with Christmoose Chili. They are the capstone of a 200-page journey through Palin’s vision of the “war on Christmas” that ranges from Constitutional law to culture wars, from fact to fantasy, from Bristol to bear skulls.

One could say her latest offering from HarperCollins covers more ground than a bald eagle skimming the shores of Wasilla Lake. But if the book were broken down into a recipe, these would be some of the main ingredients:

1 lb. evidence that there is a war on Christmas: Palin recounts news stories from recent years—such as a North Carolina college temporarily banning students from selling “Christmas” trees—to mount evidence that there are Americans trying to “destroy” the holiday. She generally refers to her foes as “secular leftists” and waffles between how formidable they are, saying “these guys aren’t just a few malcontents with lawyers” and dismissing them as a “few haters and cranks.” Palin prebuttals critics who would say she’s tackling a “non-existent problem” but doesn’t present any shattering new statistics to move the perennial debate.

10 oz. hypothetical situations: Many chapters center on made-up tales that illustrate Palin’s concerns, what she calls “stories based on reality.” She bolsters these with related real-world examples. In an imaginative ghost-of-Christmas-future scenario, Grandma Palin finds herself visiting her grandson Tripp at college in the year 2028. While on campus, she learns that the school has kicked out all the Christian groups, administrators liken the end of Christmas celebrations to the end of slavery and someone mistakes her for Tina Fey. Also, Mitt Romney finally gets elected on his sixth presidential run.

3 cups partisan meat: For readers who want classic Palin, have cheer. There are plenty of references to “dopey-hopey-changey things you hear from politicians,” criticisms of the Lamestream Media, digs at “cultural elites,” jokes about NPR-loving liberals, mentions of the “unfolding train wreck of Obamacare” and even an allusion to death panels.

2 cups “holiday”-shaming: A central trope in the book is Palin’s disgust and frustration at people saying “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas.” While hitting on various points about the commercialization of the holiday (it’s good, it’s bad, it’s beside the point), she extolls businesses like Hobby Lobby that use religious imagery in advertisements and shames businesses like Target and Wal-Mart who have eschewed ­Christmas for more politically correct terms.

4 cans broader arguments about religion in public life: In many ways, Christmas is just the occasion for Palin’s book. She argues that Christians are being reviled and marginalized in American society—and that Christian faith should be more central to culture, politics, schools and public squares. Some chapters lean heavy on the evangelism, as she recounts Biblical stories and advocates for more Christ in Christmas. “God,” she writes, “is the only cure for what ails us.”

2 cans anti-atheism: Last year, Pew announced that people with no religion are the fastest-growing spiritual demographic, with one in five Americans opting for “none” when asked about their faith. Palin paints atheists as aggressive and power-hungry, saying that “the logical result of atheism … is severe moral decay.” She criticizes them for filing lawsuits over crucifixes displayed on public land and a “larger orchestrated attempt to strip our [Judeo-Christian] heritage from America.” (This comes at a time when some atheists are embracing church-style services, putting their own spin on weekly congregation.)

3 tbsp. peaking behind the curtains: Each chapter opens with anecdotes about Palin’s personal holiday memories, like the Christmas Eve when her father may have injured himself boiling a bear skull and definitely ate a can of salmon from 1992. Throughout the book Palin also gives readers glimpses at her private life during 2008, writing about how she reacted when her daughter Bristol confessed she was pregnant and how worn down she was by being “maligned” and “mocked” during the campaign.

1 dash curiosity piquing: There aren’t any explicit hints that Palin is planning on running for a particular office, though the book itself does rally the troops and call conservatives to action. “We must resist their efforts to push God out of the culture,” she writes, “to characterize us a silly and superstitious.”

134 comments
jbv4piano
jbv4piano

Sarah Palin with this book and her mindless prattle will do more to do in Christmas than millions of hyperactive "Freedom from Religion" members. 

ayn.marx.666
ayn.marx.666

> 'Christians are being reviled and marginalized in American society'

People tend to prefer to be in synch with their societies, so is it any wonder that people commanded by God Himself (they believe) not to be 'in conformity to this world' find themselves insisting that it instead conform itself to <em>them</em>?

reggietuba
reggietuba

"Peaking behind the curtains?" Really?  You make me sad.

DougH2
DougH2

There is no war on Christmas.  There is a war on christians who choose not to celebrate Christmas as a christian holiday.  Christmas has nothing to do with Christ.  It's not in the Bible.  The celebration actually mirrors the european pagan practices of Noel and Yule Tide; both pre-date Christ.

Ignorant people like hosts on Fox News and Sarah Palin have no understanding of the Bible so I don't blame them, they are merchandizers.  I do, however, blame actual christians who ignorantly follow these morons.

Arshad_Sherif_M.A._M.Ed.
Arshad_Sherif_M.A._M.Ed.

Everyone knows that Sarah Palin didn't write a single word in that book. And if she did write a couple of paragraphs, they very likely required heavy editing. When a desperate John McCain, a man totally unsuited for the highest leadership position this nation has to offer, picked Sarah Palin to be his running mate, she landed a position on the national stage that has turned her into a wealthy woman. But from the very beginning it was very apparent that she was not a bookish person at all. Not a woman who reads books, let alone one who writes them. And it wasn't just books: Katie Couric humiliated Sarah Palin in full public view by exposing her as a woman who doesn't even read magazines or newspapers.

So by all means read the book. But it is not a book written by Sarah Palin; it is a book that simply has her name on it. For many who are obsessed with Sarah Palin, that may be enough for them to purchase the book. For my part, I want more: I want her to autograph it for me on her book tour. That makes it worth buying. I want to see her face-to-face and shake her hand. Possibly fall in love. Maybe take her to bed. But that will never happen. So I purchase the autographed book and take it home. Once home, I don't want to read it. Don't have the patience. But I want to add to it. Make it a better book. More stimulating. Perhaps more creative. Certainly more procreative. And I do so by filling its pages with hot, sticky milk. First I contemplate Sarah Palin. If that doesn't do it for me, my imagination will take me to her daughter, Bristol. Bristol should definitely do it for me. I always found her totally hot. But I can also think about Willow. The very desirable Willow. And Piper has an appeal all her own. But it takes a lot of courage to think about Piper in that way. And even more courage to talk about her that way in a public forum. But the feelings are true.

SeanMichaelIrwinCarey
SeanMichaelIrwinCarey

No where in the bible does it indicate that Christ was born in the month of December.  In fact, most biblical scholars believe he was born in late summer early fall (regarding that the shepherds would not be tending flocks and how Mary and Joseph taking part in the census which would have happened in the summer).  The holiday the Roman Catholic church began celebrating around 300 AD was a celebration of the rebirth of the sun after the Winter Solstice.


sanchezmikea
sanchezmikea

Trust the Lord, and keep your powder dry!

sanchezmikea
sanchezmikea

If 1.75% of the US population can bring us a gay president, what can 15% practicing christians do?

sanchezmikea
sanchezmikea

Palin is of course correct because the US has always been considered a christian nation even if nominaly, what if muslims were slaughtered for promoting their faith, like christians are in muslim countries. What if gays were imprisioned athetists and hedonists prosecuted? No I think the US has been far more friendly to non christians then non christian countries have been to christians. So by the standards of the real world, christians are rather then given the proper place in our society, have been denied the right to practice their faith without interferrence, which of course some, perhaps like you, whould call "separation of church and state" but the constitution does not say that, it actually says freedom of religion, not freedom from religion. Our taxes are forcefully taken to be used to murder babies, indoctinate children and support fornicating and sodomizing adults and their social groups.

Last year over 1 million christians were murdered thruout the world for their faith, the US needs to stand up as the leading christian nation to decry such unjustice. The faith of our forefathers brought us to the place of the greatest nation today and ever, we need to be true to the faith that brought us here and stop listening to all the losers and relics of history.

sanchezmikea
sanchezmikea

Really? what planet do you live on? The US has always been considered a christian nation even if nominaly, what if muslims were slaughtered for promoting their faith, like christaian are in muslim countries. What if gays were imprisioned athetists hung? No I think the US has been far more friendly to non christians then non christian countries have been to christians. So by the standards of the real world, christians are rather then given the proper place in our society, have been denied the right to practice their faith without interferrence, which of course some, perhaps like you, whould call "separation of church and state" but the constitution does not say that, it actually says freedom of religion, not freedom from religion. Our taxes are forcefully taken to be used to murder babies, indoctinate children and support fornicating and sodomizing adults and their social groups.

haywood_jablowme
haywood_jablowme

Well written article .   On Monday I held a vigil commemorating our first and finest veteran of the War on christmas, Bill O'reilly, 11 years of fighting this war, dug deep in the trenches. what a hero, a regular Rambo, Audie Murphy and Sgt. Slaughter all rolled into one

fayesam43
fayesam43

There is NO war on Christmas, but there is a war on US citizens who are not of the Christian faith...

Just ask former President G.W. Bush, who is scheduled to be the keynote speaker at an Evangelical Conference, with an agenda to convert Jews to Christianity by embracing Jesus Christ as the next Messiah...This notion that people of other faiths who do not follow Christianity are heathens and this country will be more patriotic, a better place to live and raise our children if all converted, is a pipe dream, crafted by the likes of Palin to sell books.

In case the part time former governor and ignorant opportunist didn't notice, not everyone in this country is of the Christian faith...I personally love and respect the Christmas Holiday and have no problem with the term "Merry Christmas"...There are however many who are NOT of the Christian faith, who do in fact feel uncomfortable being wished "Merry Christmas", but it's not an attack on this beautiful holiday.....

Kpat
Kpat

Ms. Palin?? . Yeah she's a hypocrite. I still like to fuqque her sometime.

TrishaLynnDragon
TrishaLynnDragon

Thank you Sarah for illustrating why the *atheist* trend is a reason to celebrate not worry over this country.

The further people get from your disgusting perversions of a creator, hate, lies and stupidity the closer this nation and its people come to truth and peace.

There's no war on Christianity. We are simply coming to realize a simple truth, the closer one gets to religion, the further one gets from God.

It's the Palin's of this world putting a bullet in the brain of Christianity not the non-thiests.

Sarah, not believing your sack of lying manipulative moose nugget of a theology doesn't make someone an atheist.

Keep up the good works Palin!

CarolSmith
CarolSmith

This book is not to be lightly tossed aside; it should be thrown with great force. As Palin rants and cashes in on her book as her contribution to the commercialization of Christmas, the rest of us will be decorating trees and baking.

BillPatterson1
BillPatterson1

Typical Sarah Palin:   Clear, bold, and right.  

God bless her and all patriots of our Constitutional Republic.

CarolSmith
CarolSmith

This book is not to be lightly tossed aside; it should be thrown with great force.There is nothing like a great tirade against non Christians or the non religious to stir those warm, fuzzy holiday feelings. As Sarah rants, I swear, you’ll be able to smell those pies and cookies baking!
If anyone feels compelled to read this bauble, I suggest the library rather than wasting your money.

TomMacioszek
TomMacioszek

The more people hate this fine woman the more I like her. To all you haters... go eff yourselves. How's that hope and change working out for you? And don't forget to sign up for ovomitcare like the other 26,000 people for the entire month of October! Losers.

MichaelE.Gardner
MichaelE.Gardner

What does this woman think she's better than God now. Someone please shut this stupid woman UP!!!!!!

SaraJames1
SaraJames1

When will this quitter and poor excuse for a woman go away?

dnshultz74
dnshultz74

"I love the commercialization of Christmas."

--Sarah Palin, TODAY Show, November 11, 2013. 

MHamilton
MHamilton

I wish she would go away...I am tired of the crazy stuff she comes up with....She really is an embarrassment to herself and her family....

KirkLane
KirkLane

what an ignorant POS this bimbo is

JoeGannon
JoeGannon

She ought to call each succeeding silly, useless piece of trash book, "My War on Not Making Enough Money." How in the world could anyone be dumb enough to waste a penny of their hard earned cash on such transparent attempt to get them to buy ANYTHING with the Palin name on it?

AlHBundy
AlHBundy

I love the hate that liberals always show.  Of course since they're so pure and joyous, they don't see it.  So beautiful.

jkvelasquez84
jkvelasquez84

All of this BS with this twit is bitterness about her losing the 2008 election.  And what made matters worse is her quitting her JOB as GOVERNOR of Alaska.  She took the easy road and ultimately doesn't care about the country, just herself!

MrObvious
MrObvious

Lemme guess

Innit a Jolly fat Father Christ ho ho ho down the chimney and leaves a million dollar contract for all good Christianist conservatives and kills all commies with an AR 15. And then all the socialist liberals decide to invade the north pole and Father Christ, the tea party helpers and all Christianists fight back using the 2nd amendment remedy.

Riveting. And that was just the first chapter.

SommerDaey
SommerDaey

@Arshad_Sherif_M.A._M.Ed. 

Palin has an affinity to perusing People magazine.

While Gov. of Alaska, an Alaskan State Trooper followed her everywhere, planes trips, ... On plane trips where there is ample catch-up time on Alaskan government briefs, the Trooper said that Palin invariably read People magazine ... nothing else.

DougH2
DougH2

@sanchezmikea Our Founding Fathers prohibited the celebration of Christmas.  Our Founding Fathers worked on Christmas for years.

Real Christians know that Christmas doesn't come from the Bible.  Nowhere in the Bible does anyone celebrate nor mandate the celebration of the birth of Christ in December.   True Christians celebrate the birth, death, and resurrection of Christ every week, on the first day of the week.

reddingmartin
reddingmartin

I couldn't agree with you more. Having said that, I won't waste any more time on what's her name.

sanchezmikea
sanchezmikea

@fayesam43 Really? what planet do you live on? The US has always been considered a christian nation even if nominaly, what if muslims were slaughtered for promoting their faith, like christaian are in muslim countries.  What if gays were imprisioned athetists hung? No I think the US has been far more friendly to non christians then non christian countries have been to christians.  So by the standards of the real world, christians are rather then given the proper place in our society, have been denied the right to practice their faith without interferrence, which of course some, perhaps like you, whould call "separation of church and state" but the constitution does not say that, it actually says freedom of religion, not freedom from religion. 

reddingmartin
reddingmartin

You are so right, although I wouldn't waste a trip to the library.

mantisdragon91
mantisdragon91

@TomMacioszek Remind us why her state had the highest debt to GDP ratio in the union when she left? Ahead of an ethics investigation I might add. But as long as fools are you still buy her bull, the Grifter will do her thing.

FinnMcCoo
FinnMcCoo

@TomMacioszek  Tom, be careful running your big mouth telling people to go eff themselves...you may be using your dental insurance...

CarolSmith
CarolSmith

@TomMacioszek Palin preys on the ignorance of others, the bigots, cynics and Tea Partiers. That is her speed.

LawrenceBorden
LawrenceBorden

@SaraJames1 As long as she keeps making money every time she opens her stupid mouth she will keep opening it.  If this latest piece of trash doesn't sell well she probably won't get another book deal.  

CarolSmith
CarolSmith

@AlHBundy The first person to "cash in" on Christmas is Palin by selling a book. What is wrong with that picture!!! There is no war on Christmas. People will be decorating trees and baking while Palin hangs out of WalMart trying to rook people out of their money!

SaraJames1
SaraJames1

@jkvelasquez84She can not accept she lost. She quit her job as Governor, which makes her a poor example to anyone.