President: I'm sorry too, Dmitri. I'm very sorry. All right, you're sorrier than I am. But I am sorry as well. I am as sorry as you are, Dmitri. Don't say that you're the more sorry than I am because I am capable of being just as sorry as you are. So we're both sorry, all right? All right.
Putin: Do you watch Game of Thrones?
Obama: Every time I meet with Boehner I think of the Red Wedding.
Welfare spending has increased thirty percent in the last four years, but poverty has gone up, not down.”explain to Putin how you managed to do that.
Putin: My divorce is not yet final and already Sarah Palin is at my door begging to move in and be my mistress.
Obama: Oh, man, you're toast. You'd better flee the country. I hear Hong Kong is a lovely place to hide out this time of year, beats the heck out of Iceland.
Putin: This divorce idea was a bad one after all. I miss Lyudmila already. I need a smoke.
Obama: Wanna trade? You can have mine. Michelle still won't let me smoke and makes me eat those GD'ed White House Garden vegetables every day, hate that crap.
Putin: No, man, I really didn't steal that Super Bowl ring.
Obama: Don't look at me. I didn't send Tim Tebow over to pray over you day and night to return it ...oh wait, so THAT'S why Kraft and Belichick signed him.
I don't care how many bugs are in the room, at some point one of you is going to have to SAY something.
Both Obama and Putin realize that their security detail has already taken all the good looking hookers.
Putin: I thought I could impress the First Lady with my mastery of slang.
Obama: She really doesn't like being called a stank ho'. Just sayin'.
Obama: You SNAKE! I should have you arrested!!
Putin: I thought you'd already seen Man of Steel. I'm sorry for giving away the ending.
Obama: So....your BBQ with the Bush family didn't go well?
Putin: No. I asked Barbara to autograph a dollar bill. The resemblance is uncanny.
@sacredh Have a good evening, sacredh.
Putin: If you don't let me keep the ring, I'll kidnap Santorum and Rubio.
Obama: Keep the ring. Santorum and Rubio are too valuable to the democratic party.
We'll even throw in a former governor.
SMEGMA. Isn't that some sort of Russian spy agency that Putin used to run?
It was a good evening. I'm working with a young guy that I get along with really well. I finish up with him in a couple of days and then get the new guy for the next two months. As a slight aside, one of the guys at work told me this morning that the new guy reminds him of me. He said you could talk to him for a half an hour and then realize later on that he meant the exact opposite of what he said. The next two months should be fun.
@sacredh I thought that only applied to Americans, not Russians.