Sequester Lampoon

A quick break from the nonsense.

  • Share
  • Read Later

A driver was stuck in a traffic jam on the highway outside Washington, DC. Nothing was moving. Suddenly, a man knocks on the car window. The driver rolls down the window and asks, “What’s going on?”

“Terrorists have kidnapped the entire US Congress, and they’re asking for a $100 million dollar ransom. Otherwise, they are going to douse them all in gasoline and set them on fire. We are going from car to car, collecting donations.”

“How much is everyone giving, on an average?” the driver asks.

The man replies, “Roughly a gallon.”

14 comments
Hunter_Thomas
Hunter_Thomas

Time. Lampooning? We here at dc Lampoon totally take the upmost exception that they try to move in on our territory. How dare you!

Hunter Thomas dc Lampoon National Affairs Desk 

By the way.. Way to go!

reallife
reallife

that joke would've worked 4 years ago when gas was at $1.80 a gallon  ;)


fitty_three
fitty_three

Hilarious.  It's rare for the "Times Staff" to come up with anything apropos and hilarious at the same time!

forgottenlord
forgottenlord

The result of the bielections might actually produce a productive Congress.  Only problem is that Warren would be amongst the casualties.

MrObvious
MrObvious

Ironically - as the drivers hands over the gas to the GOP the speaker will be first to light the match. It's for best right?

roknsteve
roknsteve

That's an old joke just like all the articles we get from Time.  Did you hear about the Congressmen who was picking his nose"  Just when he had a 10 pound booger his head collapsed.  

roknsteve
roknsteve

Where's that Kingo that was throwing gas bombs yesterday on another thread?  That Airhead thought he was the only independent voter in the whole country.  

doddeb
doddeb

I have to admit that the Mars Attacks Congress scene has been getting a lot of play at my office as of late as we discuss our dysfunctional legislature:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=rMdC45S79uQ

sacredh
sacredh

God saw everything that He had made and He saw that it was very good; and God said, "It just goes to show Me what the private sector can accomplish. With a lot of fool regulations, this could have taken billions of years" - Tony Hendra

deconstructiva
deconstructiva

I wonder who on the TIME staff came up with this. Michael Scherer? Katy Steinmetz? Step forward, please! Watching Boehner deal with his Tea Party "colleagues" (with friends like these...) can remind us of the old story of a priest and an evangelical minister flying together. The flight attendant takes their drink orders. The priest orders a scotch. The minister disapproves, saying, "I'd rather commit adultery than drink alcohol." The priest sighs, "Me too, brother, me too. Why the hell do you think I drink?"

fitty_three
fitty_three

@roknsteve  

Not to mention the only one who knew the real truth about everything.  It was all hidden in a pop quiz from BBC about who said what.

How could I have missed it!