1,000 Words

Aide: Hillary, what did President Obama get you?

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Hillary: The White House if I want it.

Hillary: I feel like everybody I know should share this moment with me. Would somebody please roll Monica in here?

At long last - 1KW!

I'm ready to crack some heads!

Hillary: When I put this helmet on, I sound like Darth Vader. Somebody dial McCain's number.

Hillary: Thank you all so much for this helmet and for the prostate exam.

Hillary: I fell and hit my head. I heard a voice say "Mama, I'm coming home". I thought I was dying. It was just Bill playing Ozzy.

I bet she gives great helmet.  (h/t Spaceballs.)

Hillary: it's a good idea, but I don't think it will fit on Bill's head. oh, the other one?

Hillary Clinton accepts a helmet from her co-workers. They were afraid to get her the Michael Myers mask.

Aide: Hillary, is there one thing you regret the most?

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Hillary: Killing Vince Foster.

Aide: Hillary, tell us the truth. Did Bill hit you?

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Hillary: Hit me? I've been wearing his jingle bobs as earrings since the Lewinski thing.

Hillary: well it's a little late. where the hell were you a month ago?

Thanks for the "1000 Words". It's like seeing an old friend. Good times.

Tough as nails and twice as hard.

Hillary: I'd like to thank whoever bought me the frisbee.

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Aide: Hillary, that was Breaking Dawn dvd.

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Hillary: It's a f'n frisbee. Hillary don't cry.

Aide: Hillary, there's more in box. There's a sports bra and a jockstrap.

Aide: Hillary, has your memory been affected?

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Hillary: Well, for the first few days Bill brought home some trailer trash and said I'd insisted on it.

Aide: Hillary, how did you fall?

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Hillary: I slipped on the stairs and was hanging from the bannister by one hand. Bill tossed me our wedding phot0 and said "catch!".

Aide: Hillary, any thoughts on 2016?

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Hillary: I won.

Hey, Sherman!

Here's Trent William's helmet!

Hillary: Boehner brought me a fifth of JD. It was empty though.

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Boehner: They made me wait 5 minutes.

Hillary: Next to bin Laden's head, I like this the best!

Hillary: It's been a wonderful 4 years to have served as your President.

Hillary: I'm going to cry. A helmet. Pizza, cigars.....BILL!!!!!!

Guy on the right: Hillary, Hillary, unzip my present next!

Hillary: I'd like to thank the staffer that bought me this. We're running a test now to see if he can breathe underwater.

Look, President Obama has made me the #1 draft pick for the White House football team!!

1,000 words is back!  Hooray!!

Omg, can it be?

Might we get an MMR too?