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Dr. Nov
Dr. Nov

"I didn't want to do this...but I lost a bet"

sacredh
sacredh

Rick: You didn't want to do this? I lost a bet to Marcus and a rag with chloroform has my name on it.

SmilingSmartBlonde
SmilingSmartBlonde

Mitt: Did you get the case of Scotch my people left for you? 

sacredh
sacredh

Rick: I drank it on the way in.

sacredh
sacredh

Rick ( to himself): I wonder if I should tell Mitt that I paid Obama a million dollars to promise that he wouldn't run in 2016?

.

Mitt (to himself): I wonder if I should tell Rick that some idiot gave Obama a million dollars in return for a promise not to run in 2016?

sacredh
sacredh

Mitt: Can I get to first base?

.

Rick: Yes.

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Mitt: Second base?

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Rick: Yes.

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Mitt: Third base?

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Rick: Jesus! Homeplate, home run, grand slam, parking concessions and the deed to the stadium. Just make your move!

sacredh
sacredh

Mitt: Say it!

.

Rick: No. Don't wanna.

.

Mitt (shaking harder): SAY IT!

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Rick: I can't!

.

Mitt: Please?

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Rick: Ok. You're my daddy.

damule
damule

HUUUUWEEEEEE Pardner try a breath mint!

Marry
Marry

my best

friend's sister-in-law makes $66 every hour on the internet. She has

been out of a job for 6 months but last month her payment was $14082

just working on the internet for a few hours. Read more on this web site

http://LazyCash49.com

Scotty_A
Scotty_A

Perry: And I thought that the stench of a baby's soiled diapers was overwhelming...

Perry: No wonder why Obama kept on saying, "Change we can believe in," last time around.

Romney: Hang on there boy. Let me fart. It will make you forget what you are going to say again. 

sacredh
sacredh

I know I've already said it once, but this is one of the best ever "1000 Words".

.

Heigh ho, heigh ho, it's off to work I go.

sacredh
sacredh

Rick: Get real Mitt. I know you're having a hard time finding a VP that will make you look like  a regular guy in comparison, but Voldemort? He's English for chrissakes.

sacredh
sacredh

Rick (laughing): C'mon Mitt! The DOG ate your taxes? How f'ing BIG was the dog?

kbanginmotown
kbanginmotown

Rick: ...now that you mention it, that *might* explain Semus's diarrhea...

sacredh
sacredh

Rick: I'm sorry Mitt, I don't mean to laugh, but I can't imagine you eating pizza in the Oval Office let alone getting a BJ.

sacredh
sacredh

Mitt: Rick, I've got something for you in my pants that is going to make you scream.

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Rick: OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! YOU'VE GOT JUSTIN BEIBER TICKETS!!???

sacredh
sacredh

Mitt: Rick, I can't release my tax returns. Some of the things in there are beyond embarrassing. I was so mad at McCain for not picking me as VP in 2008 that I sent checks to a couple of idiots' campaigns just out of spite.

.

Rick: Really? Who?

.

Mitt: You and Trump.

sacredh
sacredh

Perry laughs as Romney offers him the position of Secretary of Hair and Boots in his administration.

sacredh
sacredh

Rick: You're just being nice. I do not look like a top.

gysgt213
gysgt213

Why do their apparent smiles look more like grimaces to me?  Like "I cannot stand you dude."  "I know the feeling is mutual you mofo."

Ivy_B
Ivy_B

Look that way to me too.

Sue_N.
Sue_N.

And they have so much in common. Two men without a set of principles between them.

sacredh
sacredh

Rick: Mitt, we can't do this again! That one time in Atlanta was a mistake.

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Romney: What about Tampa?

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Rick: That was wrong too.

.

Romney: New York?

.

Rick: Wrong!

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Mitt: Cleveland?

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Rick: I was DRUNK!

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Mitt: LA?

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Rick : Jesus, I'd forgotten about that one. You were an ANIMAL!

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Mitt: Phoenix?

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Rick: Phoenix? Oh yeah? I was on painkillers. That one doesn't count.

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Mitt: Denver?

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Rick: Kobe talked us into it.

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Mitt: Pittsburgh?

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Rick: Ben.

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Mitt: Seattle:

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Rick: We couldn't turn down Paul Allen and all that money!

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Mitt: Houston?

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Rick: That was you?

Sue_N.
Sue_N.

Rick: I wish I knew how to quit you.

sacredh
sacredh

He probably wishes he could walk and chew gum at the same time too.

Sue_N.
Sue_N.

Or, you know, count to three.

Oops …

sacredh
sacredh

Romney and Perry demonstrate to the crowd every homosexual act they find repulsive.

sacredh
sacredh

Mitt: Rick, I need a running mate that will seal the deal and get me elected.

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Rick: God will help in the South, but you're still not going to take the North East or the West Coast.

sacredh
sacredh

Rick: I've...I've...never danced with another man before.

.

Charlie Wilson: YOU LIE!

sacredh
sacredh

Rick: MITT! A peck on the cheek is one thing...but TONGUE?

sacredh
sacredh

Mitt and Rick celebrate their victory on "Dancing with the D0uchebags".