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Probably thinks he's talking to 3Xfire... he'd regard two left hands as one of his sterling "accomplishments" in life!
Obama: Stop asking me about Bo! I don't know where he is! He ran away or something!
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Old woman: Mr. President, you have a little piece of fur on the corner of your mouth.
Obama: No, I didn't buy crack with my Nobel Peace Prize money, I bought Rush a truck load of viagra so he'd just stay at home and play with himself.
Obama: I'm warning you! You say Mitt Romney's name and you'd better spit on the ground and curse!
In a desperate attempt to keep Barack from being photographed giving terrorist fist bumps, a couple of supporters cling to the President's hands.
Obama: What do you mean? You gave at the office? You'll give right now if you don't want me to rip your arms off and beat you with them!
On his way to a fund raiser, President Obama stops to wotk the line at a Tea Party rally.
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Eat sh1t and die!
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Kiss my black @ss.
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I was born in Kenya.
He ain't Chief Justice Roberts no more. He's my b1tch.
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Nice t1ts. Too bad you're a dude.
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The birth certificate is fake.
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You saw what happened to Briebert didn't you?
Too bad sacred is working 4 - 12, OTOH, he is usually awake when he comes home, so we may have a lot of entertainment in the morning.
"Say one more word 'bout Michelle and I'll take my arms and hurl your Tea Party @amp;% out of your underpants so fast you'll think you got wedgied coming AND going!"
Obama joins the Hair "I'm Ticked Off 'Cause I Got Another Gray One and I Gotta Shake Hands to Burn Off the Frustration!" Club for Men.
Obama: Okay, anyone here know where this Sacredh dude is? He got a pair of Ann Romney's dirty panties as a gift but I didn't. I tried for three years to reach out to the R's and all they did was backstab me and call me a Kenyan Muslim. I never even got to share a lousy round of drinks with Boehner. That's it, f'k 'em, the gloves are coming off this fall.
Obama: (thinking to himself) Man, this job sucks. I wanted to spend the 4th in Paris for a change of pace and the RW'ers call out my @ss on that, let alone if I actually tried to go back home to Kenya. So here's to more campaigning, another holiday shot to hell.
