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dunedweller
dunedweller

Obama one-ups Romney’s "pull my finger" routine with a earthshattering "pull my arms"

53underscore3
53underscore3

[Obama, thinking to self]

Odd, this guy's got two left hands...

Richard_im_Himmel_bei_Gott
Richard_im_Himmel_bei_Gott

 Probably thinks he's talking to 3Xfire...  he'd regard two left hands as one of his sterling "accomplishments" in life!

sacredh
sacredh

Obama: Stop asking me about Bo! I don't know where he is! He ran away or something!

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Old woman: Mr. President, you have a little piece of fur on the corner of your mouth.

sacredh
sacredh

Obama: No, I didn't buy crack with my Nobel Peace Prize money, I bought Rush a truck load of viagra so he'd just stay at home and play with himself.

sacredh
sacredh

Obama: I'm warning you! You say Mitt Romney's name and you'd better spit on the ground and curse!

sacredh
sacredh

President Obama snarls as he notices a christian wearing a cross.

sacredh
sacredh

Old woman: Mr. President, I'll guess your weight for $ 50!

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Old man: I'll do it for a coke!

sacredh
sacredh

President Obama reacts to the news that Steve Nash signed with the lakers.

sacredh
sacredh

Obama: Yeah, my preferred method of birth control is anal. So what?

sacredh
sacredh

In a desperate attempt to keep Barack from being photographed giving terrorist fist bumps, a couple of supporters cling to the President's hands.

sacredh
sacredh

Obama: What do you mean? You gave at the office? You'll give right now if you don't want me to rip your arms off and beat you with them!

sacredh
sacredh

In the name of Jesus, I command you to leave the body of this pathetic honky!

sacredh
sacredh

Drunk on power, President Obama drains the lifeforce from some real Americans.

sacredh
sacredh

Old woman: Please Mr. President, make your angry black man face at me again!

sacredh
sacredh

Obama: Like this shirt? I kicked Mitt's butt and made him give it to me.

sacredh
sacredh

On his way to a fund raiser, President Obama stops to wotk the line at a Tea Party rally.

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Eat sh1t and die!

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Kiss my black @ss.

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I was born in Kenya.

He ain't Chief Justice Roberts no more. He's my b1tch.

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Nice t1ts. Too bad you're a dude.

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The birth certificate is fake.

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You saw what happened to Briebert didn't you?

chupkar
chupkar

"Are we gonna win this? Hells yeah!"

nflfoghorn
nflfoghorn

Oh, did some of my half-black rub off on you?

Ivy_B
Ivy_B

Too bad sacred is working 4 - 12, OTOH, he is usually awake when he comes home, so we may have a lot of entertainment in the morning.

sacredh
sacredh

I hope you get a chuckle out of a couple of them. Thanks for the kind words.

nflfoghorn
nflfoghorn

"Say one more word 'bout Michelle and I'll take my arms and hurl your Tea Party @amp;% out of your underpants so fast you'll think you got wedgied coming AND going!"

sacredh
sacredh

Mr. President, what makes you think I'm wearing any?

nflfoghorn
nflfoghorn

Just in time for the "Spider-Man" release, BO sprouts a new set of arms.

nflfoghorn
nflfoghorn

Obama joins the Hair "I'm Ticked Off 'Cause I Got Another Gray One and I Gotta Shake Hands to Burn Off the Frustration!" Club for Men.

Kathy Brown
Kathy Brown

HEY!! Who invited Joe the Plumber to this event?

deconstructiva
deconstructiva

Obama: Okay, anyone here know where this Sacredh dude is? He got a pair of Ann Romney's dirty panties as a gift but I didn't. I tried for three years to reach out to the R's and all they did was backstab me and call me a Kenyan Muslim. I never even got to share a lousy round of drinks with Boehner. That's it, f'k 'em, the gloves are coming off this fall.

deconstructiva
deconstructiva

Obama: (thinking to himself) Man, this job sucks. I wanted to spend the 4th in Paris for a change of pace and the RW'ers call out my @ss on that, let alone if I actually tried to go back home to Kenya. So here's to more campaigning, another holiday shot to hell.