In the Arena

We Have Big Noses, Too

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I interrupt my personal boycott of the artist formerly known as Glenn Beck because…I just can’t resist this. Here is what Beck said about his recent sojourns in the Holy Land:

 “I love the Israelis, he said. “I love the Jewish people. But they drive me out of my mind when they talk over each other. They’re constantly talking!”

Beck compared being around Jews in Israel to a family that had eight children. “Eating dinner at their house was like having dinner in Israel,” he said. “Everybody is just talking at the same time, you can’t even think!”

Perhaps those Jews foolish enough to speak to Beck should speak more slowly, and use simpler words, and even simpler ideas, so that he can understand them. I’d also encourage them to ask Beck the following question: “Do you believe–as the more militant members of Hizballah do–that the existence of the state of Israel presages a cataclysmic battle on the plain of Meggido [Armageddon]…and that after that battle Jesus [or, perhaps, the Mahdi] will return and the Rapture will ensue, featuring the incineration of all those who don’t believe in the appointed messiah?” Ask it slowly. Demand a yes or no answer. Then offer to provide Beck with a nice taxi to Ben Gurion airport.

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