1,000 Words: Toast

Related Topics: 1,000 Words
  • Latest on Swampland

    The Phony War: Obama and Romney Are Debating Character, Not Policy

    More than five months from Election Day, the back-and-forth about Mitt Romney’s record at Bain already feels played out. Unfortunately, there’s good reason to expect the campaign continues in this vein indefinitely. Neither Barack Obama nor Mitt Romney are terribly interested in dwelling on policy platforms. Romney’s plan to slash spending and keep taxes low on the wealthy isn’t especially popular, at least not at any level of detail beyond a blithe promise to shrink the deficit. Meanwhile, Obama’s signature first-term achievements, like health care, the stimulus and Wall Street reform, are all unpopular or tricky to sell. (The Dodd-Frank bill is the most popular of these, but hyping it means offending wealthy donors.) So what we’re getting instead is a superficial duel about character–and, worse, one that’s based on the largely false premise that the better man can better “manage” the economy back to health.

    Obama Administration Blocks Global Health Fund To Fight Disease In Developing NationsHuffPost Politics

    Audacity of Dope: Tales of a Toking Teenage Obama

    We knew Barack Obama smoked weed in high school because he wrote about it in his books. What we didn’t know, until Buzzfeed posted these choice nuggets (I’m so sorry) from David Maraniss’s new book on the President’s younger years, were the giggle-worthy details of his “Choom Gang” lifestyle, which are right out of a buddy stoner flick. Obama and his friends drove around the lush Hawaii countryside, hot-boxing their VW bus and re-upping with a long-haired pizza-tossing dealer named Ray, whom Obama thanked in his yearbook “for all the good times.”

  • troubador222

    Our evil plan is working. Today the buffet, tomorrow the world!

  • square1

    Rich People, FTW!

  • http://patricksartor.wordpress.com patricksartor

    Hey, look, if you hold it at the right angle, you can see Russia from through this glass.

  • hippooath

    A toast comrades – the evil secular communist, moslem plot to introduce fascism is finally working.

  • hippooath

    A Zucker to the right, apple to the left and a sh!tload of rich people who believe in my anti-christ plot to rule the Patriots.

  • sacredh

    Obama: To socialism!

    Rest of table: To socialism!

  • sacredh

    Obama: F**k being poor!

    Rest of table: Praise Jesus!

  • sacredh

    Obama: Everybody who plans on ruling the world…raise your glass!

  • sacredh

    The Secret Senate meets again.

  • sacredh

    Obama: Our Father who art in Kenya…..just kidding.

  • sacredh

    The ruling elite sips glasses of Boehner & Beck tears.

  • sacredh

    Rich white folk share a glass of wine with the hired help.

  • sacredh

    Obama: I haven’t seen a crowd this diverse since I watched the last Tea Party rally.

  • sacredh

    Where’s Waldo?

  • sacredh

    Obama: I’ve asked you all here to discuss how all of you can help the poor and unemployed in the country. Please…no snickering or laughing.

  • sacredh

    Obama: I’d like to thank all of you for taking the time out of your busy schedules to meet with me here at the White House and I want to assure you that all of your weapons will be returned to you as you leave. I hate to bring this up, but one of you left a floater in the toilet. You have to flush it twice to make sure it all goes down.

  • sacredh

    The secular version of The Last Supper.

  • sacredh

    Obama: One of you has betrayed me for 40 billion pieces of silver.

  • sacredh

    Obama: If any of you have a nicer house than mine…raise your glass.

  • sacredh

    Obama: Dinner was free and I’d like to thank all of you for donating $10 million each to get the antidote chaser.

  • 53_3

    They are distilled nightly in the basement of 1211 Avenue of the Americas, NY and shipped by courier to the White House daily.

  • 53_3

    Oop, this was intended for 11.
    .
    Drat!

  • hippooath

    Now hold up your urine samples…excellent, now let me tell you a little secret about why the speaker of the house is so damn orange.

  • hippooath

    So let me show you guys the Kenyan toast tradition, hold up your glass of fresh glass of Virgin tears, and repeat after me ‘Father who arth in hell…no seriously, I am not initiating you in a satanic cult. Would I lie to you guys?’

  • nflfoghorn

    …I meant 40 gigabytes ;)

  • nflfoghorn

    Meeting with the President: $2 million to the DNC.
    Having to tell him his pits are stained: priceless.

  • nflfoghorn

    I think Warren was upset for being left out.

  • apr2563

    Zuckerberg, the movie “The Social Network” was unclear. Nerd or a$$hole?

  • liberalmeltdown

    Let’s sit around this table and make a meaningless symbolic gesture: one two three, click.

  • liberalmeltdown

    In another unpresidential (ah, I mean unpresidented) move, Obama, in the interest of fairness and equality makes everyone compare the amount of wine in their glasses.

  • liberalmeltdown

    Does this look like Red Ripple to you guys?

  • liberalmeltdown

    And afterwards we’ll roll a couple of bombers.

  • liberalmeltdown

    Drink up. We have a case of Two Buck Chuck.

  • liberalmeltdown

    Here’s to having alcoholism covered by Obamacare.

  • liberalmeltdown

    Do any of you guys know any whitey work songs?

  • liberalmeltdown

    Ready…start your livers!

  • liberalmeltdown

    приветственные восклицания, ooops. I mean cheers.

  • http://2thirdsrocks.wordpress.com 2thirdsrocks

    Here’s hastening the return of the great mohhamed!

  • earljr1

    Here is toasting the fact “Liberals simply do not get it and probably never will” and a pox on them for reminding me constantly, of all those campaign promises.

  • sacredh

    Obama: I propose a toast to the redistribution of wealth…from the wealthy to the ultra-wealthy.

    Rest of table: Hear,Hear!

  • sacredh

    The Mad Hatters celebrate the success of their Tea Party scam.

  • sacredh

    The paid liberal bloggers from Swampland celebrate another year of successful deception.

  • liberalmeltdown

    Here’s to 2012, when I will be toast.

  • http://patricksartor.wordpress.com patricksartor

    Damn, 53!
    .
    My work is office buildings and I had to look up that Fox has it’s headquarters on 6th Ave (known as “Avenue of the Americas” to out of towners and postal carriers between fifth ave and seventh ave).

  • http://patricksartor.wordpress.com patricksartor

    You just were the toast in 37.
    . :D

  • 53_3

    patrick:
    .
    Ain’t google grand?
    .
    Of course, if we stop “redistributng the wealth”, freeinpa would be farming dirt instead of pounding a keyboard and drinking from that bottle of gin sitting on the Timothy McVeigh poster on the table next to him…

  • 53_3

    Where’s those oysters?

  • 53_3

    No, I think they might be toasting the fact that the Teabaggers bit into the backside of a very large, sleeping dog in Wisconsin, as predicted by his chief political strategist…

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