1,000 Words

http://michaelfury.wordpress.com/2010/11/04/a-tea-tray-in-the-sky/

Lockheed Martin introduces the new “Stealth Ship”undetectable by sonar and radar for only $30 Billion each.

Jesus Christ guys, when I signed up for this Tea Bagger sh!t I never expected that I’d be outside in the cold. Can’t we plot a revolution in a McDonalds someplace?

Once they get a good look at us, they’ll have to take us seriously.

The Tea Bag Express sets sail for Fire Island and a weekend of drunken debauchery.

GPS? Check. Cellphones? Check. MaterCard? Check. This is how the framers of the constitution meant it to be.

Give me liberty or give me a nice warm room at a Holiday Inn.

The tea party boat is trying to get the ship on the right heading.
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“stop taking us left, this is a right center boat dammit – hey is that Russia?”

Dammit, I could have sworn I had a captain morgan at the end of this rope…

The Sisters of Perpetual Obnoxiousness prepare to make landfall.

Jesus! I feel like a marine but where can we find one clear out here?

Land ho! And there’s another one leaning against a lamp post.

Hey, you with the musket, can you signal someone from the 21st century to tell us how to get this damn thing going forward.

Bill, if that isn’t a compass in your pocket pokin’ me in the ass we’re going to have a serious talk.

Hey, fat guy – boobs, 3 O’clock. No, not Bob, boobs…geezus

Look at them over there in that other boat with their silly costumes making fun of us.

Uh Bob, that’s the Coast Guard. Those are real uniforms.

You there in the back – stop singing o solo mio you twit. No I didn’t call you BRIT!

Bob – get ready with that rope – I think I see one of those Kenyans.

Look over there on the shore. Have you ever seen such a pathetic group of losers in your life?

Tom, that a glass fronted building. That’s us.

Yo ho ho and a bottle of Pepto Bismol.

Row faster men, we need to cash our Social Security checks before the banks close so we can protest big government.

I swear I saw a Dennis…Gawd dammit – put a cork in it Bob – when I said no IBS I didn’t talk about ignorant bullsh!t.

You’re like a boat full of old women. Make up your damn mind!

I’m to old for this sh!t

Let’s get a move on. I want to get home in time to watch “Sarah Palin’s Half-Baked Alaska”.

Guys, when I said patriots or lakers I didn’t talk about going out on the lake.

I knew it was a mistake to have both Boehner and Beck give us our send-off. They both started crying on each other’s shoulders and then it turned into an embrace and then…God! Just look at em’ go after it right out in public.

Dammit Joe! Didn’t I tell everybody to be sure they went before we left the shore? You’ll just have to hold it in until it gets dark.
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But Mark, maybe they’ll think I’m just dropping a tea bag in the water! I gotta go!

Great picture Alex. Thank you.

Guys, it’s time for some fresh blood in Washington.

I SAID IT’S…never mind.

The Tea Party Navy is here to take their country back by force.

As soon as they can figure out which way is North

Proving once again that they represent all Americans from all backgrouds, the crew of the S.S. Barfbag begins their journey.

These gay cruise ships are getting smaller and smaller.

I hated to leave Cheney behind but that Darth Vader costume would make us look ridiculous.

Hey, Bob, what happened to the movement that was pulling us towards fiscal responsibility?

It finally dawns on the Tea Bagger crew that using stimulus money to finance their trip wasn’t a good idea.

Why is it that the youngest guy with the handlebar have fur on his jacket? What is this pride float you’re talking about? Guys, that boat over there has a guy with funky leather pants on. Bob, stop staring!!!

Okay, next time you enter us into a pride float with a guy that says ‘lets go t-bagging’ I’m going to….

Heigh ho, heigh ho. It’s off to work I go. Have fun folks.

Stay safe

Brad, if you sing “I like sailors but I love semen” one more time, we’re not going to let you play dress-up anymore with us.

OK, now I really have to leave.

The election was so bad for the Democrats that they cast the losers adrift, only to have them attempt to return as illegal aliens.

I think I spot a land where freedom and prosperity is growing, and they have job growth. Gentlemen welcome to China.

Why I am grateful to be female.

A group of spry youngsters like that can be up to no good.

The United States rapidly responds to the pirate threat..

This has to be one of the greatest “1000 words” yet. Thanks and for all of the great comments and no trolls yet (must be on the boat).

Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale,
A tale of a fateful trip
That started from this tropic port
Aboard this tiny ship.

The mate was a mighty sailing man,
The skipper brave and sure.
Five passengers set sail that day
For a three hour tour, a three hour tour.

The weather started getting rough,
The tiny ship was tossed,
If not for the courage of the fearless crew
The minnow would be lost, the minnow would be lost.

The ship set ground on the shore of this uncharted desert isle

With John Boehner
The Skipper, McCain, too
Sarah Palin,
The Professor
and Marianne

Here on Tea bag Island!

(Let’s not send out a search party.)

Keep an eye out for those Red Coat liberals.

It’s better to be a guy. We can pee anywhere. Give us an empty cup and we can even go while driving. Plus, we can write in the snow. Nothing warms a woman’s heart more than looking out the kitchen window first thing in the morning and seeing “I (heart) U” spelled out in yellow on a pristine white background. That’s love. It’s undignified for a woman to even attempt snow writing. The ladies have to scoot around while squatted down and it’s just meaningless squiggles because you can’t see what you’re writing.

McCain shouting from the shore: Hey! You kids get off of my river!

The only way to get around a snowed-in airport….

Where for goshsakes are the Harlem Globetrotters???

The S.S. Medicare sets offs for Wheelchairland.

The crew celebrates their mass escape from Shady Pines.

Arrrggghh. I be spyin’ me a pirate wench!

Who the hell forgot to load the barrel? Turn back! Turn back!

We needs us a fair virgin.

We’re going to Vermont?

Red coated liberals?
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You mean these guys?
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http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://dealbreaker.com/2009/09/15/Mounties.jpg&imgrefurl=http://dealbreaker.com/2009/09/mounties-shut-down-canadian-po.php&usg=__KkzCO3Muig1dFOLWiGTq2bSa7fs=&h=347&w=243&sz=36&hl=en&start=0&zoom=1&tbnid=gM3rprnVF4nENM:&tbnh=134&tbnw=96&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dmounties%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DX%26biw%3D1440%26bih%3D751%26tbs%3Disch:1%26prmd%3Divns0%2C57&itbs=1&iact=rc&dur=656&ei=pPkZTdXxKoSBlAfkjqGwCA&oei=pPkZTdXxKoSBlAfkjqGwCA&esq=1&page=1&ndsp=30&ved=1t:429,r:16,s:0&tx=38&ty=85&biw=1440&bih=751
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“We’re coming to bring you single payer health care, ay.”

“We’re going to Vermont?”
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No, we’re to Delaware! Christine O’Donnell loves men in uniform!

What are you saying?

captain
How deep is the water?
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crewman at the stern
Checking, sir!
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Well, can one of retrieve my pole, or, whatever that thing is? I dropped in the water over here! I don’t want to get my panties wet.
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Karzai, while no one is looking
Thnking to self:
I should get good money for this rope. No one’s looking…
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Land Ho! It’s Russia!
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Wrong ocean, you idiot! That’s Hoboken…

Damn!
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Who farted!?!

“Men, I’ve opened our secret orders. We are to patrol the Rio Grande and search for illegals trying to infiltrate. Now, I see the Statue of Liberty. Anybody know how far we’ve still got to go?”

I swear I thought that guy playing Gen. Washington was Robert Gibbs.

The Constant Weader at http://www.RealityChex.com

Oh my god, they have cameras!

FTW!

Okay, men, Obama is running up the white flag! The battle of ballots fought on Nov. 2nd is a total victory for center/right politics in America and liberalism is defeated once again. Good job, tea party patriots, sanity shall once again prevail.

earl, maybe those are all the Canadians rushing over Lake Osoyoos to get health care in the US. They saw this chart and are fulfilling their destiny.
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http://andrewsullivan.theatlantic.com/the_daily_dish/2010/10/chart-of-the-day-1.html

earljr1:
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You’ve missed the point again.
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Hell, liberalmeltdown did a nice play on the juxtaposition of the present and the past, and it worked out well.
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You need to work on that sense of humor…

April, if you are the last liberal to leave (good possibility) be SURE to turn out the lights, okay?

It’s a little bit of frustration shining through. We insulted the hallowed Tea Baggers. Defenders of the truth, freedom and yada yada yada. The Tea Party claims to represent Americans from all walks of life and the picture shows them for what they are…old white guys that can’t accept change so they dress up in silly costumes and look angry.
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It didn’t help that they made big gains in the election and then promptly rolled over and let a lame duck congress pass pretty much everything they wanted to. Rather than stopping Obama in his tracks as they expected, they furthered his agenda.
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It’s enough to make you point and laugh.

That’s pretty funny.

The real frustration is coming from the bljobbers like Scardey the Fairy who is upset that gay marriage is legal in only 5 states so he has to move to marry his boyfriend.

husien,
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There are two kinds of democrats: heterosexual (usually married) or happily out of the closet.
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I am one of the heterosexual ones.
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Please save your fantasies for Larry Craig and Ted Haggard. They’ll enjoy your company.

Good night, earl.
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Let us know when you wake up and smell the coffee.

husein11, you sound a little upset and defensive. Are you afraid that your Tea Bagger heroes are going to set themselves up for defeat in the next election? Face it. They’re clowns in costumes. They represent old white guys that can’t accept change. They dress up as historical figures because they know they their way of life is going to be history. Short term wins can just as easily be turned into long term defeats. The demographics of the country are changing and it scares the crap out of you folks.
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Are you so afraid of gays and lesbians having the same rights that you do? Does it bother you that you won’t be able to legally discriminate against millions of Americans because you desperately NEED someone to look down on that you think is even lower on the totem poll than you are? It does bother me that only 5 states recognize that all Americans deserve the same rights. I’m not gay but I don’t like any group getting discriminated against. I don’t like minorities being discrimiated against either and I’m white.
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Your ideal America is one that sickens me. It’s dying and that makes me very happy. Get used to it. Go ahead. Pretend that you’re a patriot. You aren’t fooling anybody. You represent the worst of America.

Oh, patrick. I DID smell the aroma of freshly brewed coffee. It cleared my head of liberal fantasies and gave me a good, clear conservative perspective on life.