1,000 Words

Obama: “Okay, time for a pickup game. Let’s line up: straights vs. gays… let’s go …somebody move already …helllloooo?…allright, what the hell’s going on here… YES we’re going get that law repeal now line up already goddamit, I’m your f’ing CIC, don’t make me bring Michelle over here….”

Desperate times / measures thingy: Obama is personally leading the troops for their next assignment…
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…protecting Lebron James at the Cavs / Heat game.

Obama: “Guys, thanks for sending the Hillary crapola to Wikileaks. God bless our troops; I knew I could count on your discretion.”

Obama: “No, Sergeant, I’m not asking if you’re gay, I know the goddamn Senate is still working on DADT, I just need to know where the bathroom is. You can tell me that already, goddammit, where the hell is the bathroom? Why doesn’t anyone tell me what the f’k is going on over here….”
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(ah, what a relief to know that G-word is allowed…)

Obama: “Guys, very funny last time about letting Hillary bust me in the chops. That hurt like hell. Pull that crap again and you’ll be detonating mines and IED’s….”
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…while thinking…
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“Damn, it’s good to be CIC. I wish I could chew out the R’s asses in Congress like this. Give me just one game of horse with Boehner….”

It’s normally fun to see the funny captions, but on this one, I have to comment that we see a very competent, dedicated Commander-in-Chief doing his job.

FTW.

OK which one of you is hiding the Easter Egg behind his back?

LOL! Great start, decon!

Obama: “…so that’s your DADT update. Anyone seen Hillary?”
Soldier 1: “She was taking a power loader into the cargo bay…”
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(not exactly the kind of aliens McCain + fellow R’s are fighting)

Obama: No we are not going to issue soap on a rope for our troops! The point of repealing DADT is that you guys have to grow up and deal with the fact that most of you aren’t even good looking enough for most gays.And stop covering your ass with your hands.

Welcome back patrick. You were missed.

Soldier: Mr. President, don’t take this the wrong way, we appreciate your coming here and telling us you appreciate our sacrifice and service, but it doesn’t compare to Palin walking in last week and yelling ” Form a line. All aboard guys!”

Obama: Soldiers, when I said “At ease” I didn’t mean you could address me as “b!tch”.

Obama: OK. A show of hands. How many of you are going to vote for me in 2012?

President Obama begins to suspect that announcing the repaeal of DADT in the locker room was not a good idea.

FTW!

Thanks sacred.
I honored my bet with 3xfire3 from midnight 11/3 until I got the chance to come online 12/3.

Okay, fellows, we are dealing with a smart and determined enemy. They are inspired, relentless and highly motivated. They even recaptured my old senate seat in Illinois last month. No, not the taliban, I am talking about the Republicans!! p.s. good to see you posting again, patrick.

Obama:”As you know we gave you all a survey to complete on DADT. We were so giddy about the results, and I am here to officially kick off the first troop weekly circle jerk session. Our goal is to welcome those fellow troops who have been hiding in the closet. Ok now, , we will begin by whipping it out, and just start jerking like mad men. I am sure for some this may seem awkward, but hopefully it will be over soon”.
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Troop Leader: “Ah Mr President, none of us are gay”.
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Obama: “Well….ah….just go ahead and do it anyways. Practice is always good in these types of situations, and just in case a gay does come forward, you’ll be prepared”.

I took a little break myself. I think I posted 3 comments in a little over 3 weeks. I do think betting here is not such a good idea. I hope I have enough self control not to do it again.

Actually pretty funny.

The President wonders why the troops all seem to have flashlights in their front pockets.

Presidnet Obama thinks they’re making fun of his recent accident when a couple of the troops say “You sure do have a purty mouth”.

Spell-check would be my friend if I ever used it.

Michael, you’re on a roll. Thank you for the recent photos.

Obama: Guys, you must not be aware that Christine O’Donnel is still a virgin. Why do you want her for Christmas?

Obama: I don’t understand it. How come only 16 of you are greeting me and Congressman Frank drew over 800 troops?

Obama: OK, that’s my explanation of the repeal of DADT. Let’s play ball. Divide up. Cut on one side and uncut on the other.

Obama: Iran, North Korea or Massachusettes. Where would you guys like to be deployed next?

Soldier: How about a search mission in Kenya? We could look for your birth certificate.

Obama: Just to show you men how much I appreciate your service, I brought you all a copy of the new Harry Potter that I downloaded from the internet.

Obama: Guys, get serious. I’m not going to give you Lindsey Lohan for Christmas. You don’t know where she’s been.

I think I could bet that the sun will rise tomorrow morning and, instead, there is a solar eclipse lasting until 12:01 PM.
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I rarely bet. There is a reason for that (bad luck).

Damn it, Earl, I was planning on making a bad remark about you until you told me that you were glad to see me back.
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Now I can’t be too negative with you for at least a day or two.

President Obama began to realize how unpopular he was when not a single black soldier wanted to be photographed with him.

I’ve been on a little bit of a roll with scratch-offs since I started vacation 9 days ago. I’ve played about $100 and hit just under $500. I’ve hit a $250, a $100 and a couple of $50′s. My wife hit a $100 ticket too. It’s the best streak I’ve had this year. My wife has been telling me to play more but I’m just going to slack off and be happy with what I won. Extra cash for the holidays always comes in handy.

Soldier: Mr President sir, I don’t mean to be rude but could you hurry it up a little? Sarah Palin’s Alaska is starting in 5 minutes.

The soldiers are puzzled about why the President thinks they need protection from IUDs.

Did Obamao mention to the soldiers in the photo that some of Obama’s dearest friends and associates are unrepentant terrorists who bombed the the Pentagon before bin Laden did?

Did Obamao pass along this line from his friend William Ayers:

“Everything was absolutely ideal on the day I bombed the Pentagon.

“The sky was blue. The birds were singing. And the bastards were finally going to get what was coming to them.”

Ladies and gentlemen, lets give a big round of applause for Dennis Miller!

Let’s just wave a finger.

I really wish that textee would be more inventive when insulting the prez.
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Rusty’s was much better…

I second, but I do have to complement Rusty on his effort…

I think Rusty should get FTW in the humor category for this one…

Textee must be running out of newspapers, magazines, and TV shows to discover new Communist conspiracies. But he didn’t yet criticize House Hunters International for promoting citizens to defect from their home countries to warmer, sunnier ones? Or Horders for chastizing people who are simply stockpiling for the Glenn Beck Apocoplyse?

Textee’s conspiracy theories seem to include that Obama was the one behind 9/11.
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Was the revolutionary war fought against John McCain?
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Some of those photos of McCain in his 20s look suspiciously like that of some of the English generals.

OK, remember we are not a Christian nation so no praying, if you see a Saudi King you must bow, and the Constitution is nothing but a bunch of words written by dead white guys. So fight on…

Now that was dumb.
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There are no laws that ban praying, force you to bow, and, fyi, that bunch of words written by Dead White Guys?…
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Them bunch of words state that such laws cannot be passed!
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You’ll find it if you rummage around enough in that bunch of words…

Let me tell you what this is all about…
You put your left foot in,
You put your left foot out;
You put your left foot in,
And you shake it all about.
You do the Hokey-Pokey,
And you turn yourself around.
That’s what it’s all about!

“We need men who can lay pipe under fire. Volunteers?”

http://michaelfury.wordpress.com/2008/10/30/the-ones-who-attacked-us/

“No sudden moves “prez”. And please keep your hands where we can see them.”

All those things come from Obama and the left FYI.

There’s nothing like a dumb rejoinder to go with a stupid comment.
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See that Thing the Dead White Guys wrote. Apparently, you just don’t know much about it…

I’ll double down on your stupid comment and call your bluff fool. You show ME where Obama and the left didn’t make those comments, remarks, and hold the beliefs that the Constitution of the United States is a document that they respect in its present form.

You know, that wasn’t half bad.

“You show ME where Obama and the left didn’t make those comments, remarks, and hold the beliefs that the Constitution of the United States is a document that they respect in its present form.”
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Show you where the left didn’t make those remarks?
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Okay, Obama on America not being a Christian country December 6th 2010:
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“_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________”
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There it is! It is a place where nobody from the left made a comment.
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Any other dumb requests?
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Do you want me to show you all of the places where Bush did not find those promised WMD?
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Here it is:
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You show ME where Obama and the left didn’t make those comments, remarks, and hold the beliefs that the Constitution of the United States is a document that they respect in its present form.

Read more: http://swampland.blogs.time.com/2010/12/03/1000-words-41/#ixzz17MGyj8Ev
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Nowhere in the blue, green or white spaces on either side of this globe did Bush find WMD belonging to Iraq.

Obama: Step back guys. When I said “I suck” I meant as President.

No Patty you enter in Google: Obama we are not a Christian nation. Then you see About 11,300,000 results. That’s over 11 million Patty.
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Then you enter another search: Constitution dead white guys. You get About 365,000 results. Some like this:
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the phrase “dead white males” (or “dead white men,” “dead white guys” etc.) criticizes the emphasis on high culture in Western civilization in schools (especially those in the United States). Critics of the traditional curriculum argued that it enshrined a world view that valued older European history, for example, over non-European achievements. Users of the term also argued that the traditional curriculum was praising one’s own culture; proponents of this type of curriculum, however, argued that “one’s own culture” is the logical aspect to place emphasis on in any one nation-state. A similar approach to historical studies is the “Great man theory” of history.