1,000 Words

“Let down your hair!”
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“Sorry, I let the Republicans shave it off. But look at all those beans I’ve promised not to take from the rich! At least someone isn’t getting jipped.”

Before the last elections, they use to let me win at basketball. Now I get a fat-lip for my troubles.

Too busy taking elbows to throw one.

Obama: “First Hillary just primaries me. Then she harasses me in private. Then in public. Then she goes after my job. Now she hits me during hoops. WTF is she, a Republican?”

Obama: Ummmm….Hillary’s panties.

gumOnShoe looks at meal sitting in front of him and pushes it to the side, no longer hungry…

Obama’s latest bloody nose was caused by Hillary’s 3am phone call about immediately checking out a new leak… not from WikiLeaks but from the WH furnace in the basement. He forgot to turn on the lights and bumped into a door.

Obama (singing softly): “All I want for Christmas is my two ka-hones…”

FTW! Wonder if those panties had “leaks.” WikiLeaks has created enough of a mess already.

sacred: I think you meant jockstrap…

Golly, those tea party folks play rough! It wasn’t enough to humiliate me at mid terms, now they give me a fat lip! I think I will just stay in here where it is safe.

“Speak sideways and wary a big stick, those things really hurt”

FTW.
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I’m totally fishslapped…

“Boy, those pills that Big Pharma are feeding me at the request of the United Corporations of America are making me a little slow.

Now what was I thinking.. Oh yes.. extending the same failed economic policies as Bush, tax cuts for the wealthy, will deliver a different result.”

We regret to inform you that the ka-hones you ordered are on back order. We will not be able to fill your order at this time.
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The manufacturer of the items you ordered is no longer in business. We are attempting to locate another manufacturer, or failing that, we will redirect you to another supplier who does have them.
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Please contact us for further information, or, if you wish, you may cancel your order.

If I win this bet and swallow the entire Big Mac in one bite, Cantor and Boehner will agree to tax cuts just for the Middlle Class.

Mmmf gobble

Obama: I remember telling Michelle I liked how big her ass was and then I woke up here with my lip split.

President Obama tries in vain to hold back the tears after hearing that Bristol lost on DWTS.

Seriously, wtf is he doing?

He got 12 stitches in the mouth the other day. My guess is that it’s ice.

Michelle: Barack honey… let me in. You’re over-reacting. So what if Barney Frank called you a pussy? It’s no reason to lock yourself in there and cry like a little b!tch.

President Obama breaks down after Hillary invites him to run as her VP.

President Obama contemplates how things could have gone so wrong. Joe Biden just called and told him to bring him some coffee and a sandwich.

President Obama stares out the window and thinks “I coulda been a contender!”.

To thing how far I’ve come from the mean streets of Hawaii, on to a free ride through college, and then I had to write a book. What a hard life. America really needs me.

Hillary hits hard for a girl.

Obama: Why did Hillary punch me? I asked her to join me in the Oval Office for pizza and a cigar.

Thanks for a great picture MS. I will promise you this…if a republican wins in 2012 I won’t be holding back like I do now.

For being called the anti-Christ and a Messiah, he sure just looks human to me.

Obama (to himself): I get my mouth split wide open. I’m the President of the most powerful nation on earth and the doctor won’t sew me up unless I pay cash?

It is a good post,thank you for sharing

Either that, or there was a fight at the Slurpee conference we didn’t hear about.
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Heard Boehner has a pretty mean right jab…

freeinpa, down in the courtyard yelling up at the window just before his arrest
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Nyah, nyahnyah nyah nyah! You still throw like a girl!

LOL!

Obama realizes with mounting horror that McCain is stomping up and down on the White House lawn and there is nothing he can do about it.

Obama: I can’t believe I had to blow all of those generals to get them to back the repeal of DADT.

Michelle: Barack, John Boehner’s here. He wants to know if you picked up his clothes from the dry cleaners.

It would be nice to get a “1000 Words” with Palin, Boehner, DeLay or Steele for us to rip on. I’d hate for somebody to think I’m a republican.

Michelle: Barack, the girls say they are going to veto any chores unless you address a raise in their allowance first.

Gibbs: President Obama, there has been some progress in negoiations to reduce the size of the military budget. They’ve agreed to order fewer type writers.

President Obama wonders if it was wise to let Lady GaGa order Michelle’s gown for the state dinner.