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1,000 Words

By Alex Altman | @aaltman82 | November 3, 2010 | +

President Barack Obama makes an Election Night phone call to Rep. John Boehner from his Treaty Room office at the White House.

 

Pete Souza/The White House

 

(Via our White House Photo Blog)

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  • gadsbys

    No Boehner. You don’t need to come over here and do it to me. I can handle it by myself.

  • http://gum0nshoe.wordpress.com gumOnShoe

    Hey, did you get that pic? Yeah, that’s not my knee.

  • deconstructiva

    Obama to Boehner: “John, dude, whazzup? Hey, congrats on your win… but now YOU get to try to create jobs, tackle health care, keep spending in line, and I get to obstruct every GD thing you do with my veto. Life’s a b1tch, ain’t it? Now the media will bite your ass, not mine. Bwahahahahahaha!!! Enjoy!!! Give my love to Mitch. Bye bye …in 2012.”

  • newfreedomblog

    “1-900-we’llcureyourblues”, how may I help you?
    .
    Obambi – “Oh hey, yea I have had a really bad night. What do you have to help cheer me up?”
    .
    Well Mr….I mean Barry, anything you want.
    .
    Obambi – “Well I have this fantasy of running buck naked on the South Lawn being chased by a 1,000 Muslim virgins, can you make that happen?”
    .
    Boys or girls, Sir?
    .
    Obambi – “Yea, they can be naked girls or boys, I am a Democrat remember?”

  • deconstructiva

    Life imitates art… according to Mel Brooks, one known deleted line from Blazing Saddles is when Cleavon Little and Madeline Kahn are in the dark after she says, “It’s twue, it’s twue!” (that remains, of course) and he replies, “Excuse me, ma’am, you’re sucking on my elbow.”

  • grape_crush

    “No, John…This is the number for the White House, not the one for your late night booty call.”

  • square1

    “Guess where I am calling from, bi-otch? The treaty room. I have just agreed with Prime Minister Stephen Harper to sell Ohio to Canada for a 12-pack of Molson Golden and a Celine Dion twin to be named later. Don’t worry, I hear the golf is great in Ottawa this time of year.”

  • deconstructiva

    Obama: “Yeah, I’ll have three large pepperonis, two deluxes, and one veggie pizza. Oh, toss in a custom plain cheese for this one ass#ole I know for a special delivery. Top it with mushrooms spelling out, “Bite Me, You Orange-Faced Son of a…” …oh, oops, sorry John… thought it was the pizza place. Hey, I’m sending you a victory food gift. Enjoy!!”

  • earljr1

    Yes, John, you are right…I got my butt handed to me on a silver platter. Now, Mr.Speaker, about Obamacare…can you make it go away? (or at least change the name to Pelosicare) please…pretty please?

  • http://gum0nshoe.wordpress.com gumOnShoe

    I have to say that would be a hysterical lame duck session. We the majority vote to gift these states to Iraq as compensation for the invasion and hence remove the oppositions majority before they take office.

  • kbanginmotown

    FTW**1e6!!

  • deconstructiva

    Obama: “Hello, Victoria’s Secret? I’d like to place an order for 279 pink French-cut panties and one orange one. Message for each one: ‘Here are your man-pants. You’ll need them for next year’s budget’… …bill ‘em to my address… …the name’s Boehner, John Boehner….”

  • kbanginmotown

    “Yeah, John…I got your Man-Date right here!!”

  • deconstructiva

    FTW! Great wordplay there.

  • square1

    BO: Congratulations.

    JB: Thanks.

    BO: I have to hand it to you Republicans. You actually ran against the bailouts? How the f— did you guys pull that one off?

    JB: Heh. Look, you just let these tea-partiers think that they are driving the boat. “Uh oh, we need to get back to our principled roots. Or else Joe the Plumber will primary us!” Make them feel important.

    BO: Yeah, but you get away with completely contradictory messages. You call me and my party “anti-business” AND you blame us for bailing out the largest banks on the planet? My head is spinning.

    JB: [laughs] You Democrats take everything too literally. Democrats are anti-business BECAUSE they bailed out the banks. It was government intervention. Socialism.

    BO: What can I tell you? Democrats will trash you if you say one thing and do another. I’ve got half of the liberal blogosphere up my behind because they said I didn’t deliver on the “change” that I promised. I’m like “motherf—er, when did I tell you what I meant by ‘change’? That’s right. Never. That was intentional. Now shut up and vote.”

    JB: I don’t envy you.

    BO: Yes you do!

    JB & BO Together: [laughter]

  • http://jcapan.wordpress.com jcapan

    BO: Congrats Boner. And I wanted to let you know how easy this transition will be. 23 of your pick-ups were seats formally held by Blue Dogs, so I’m used to listening to republicans.

  • acameronw

    “Yes, I’m sure you do plan to wipe this smile off my face. Good luck with that.”

  • kevin

    Oh, please, please, please try to repeal the ACA. Please.

  • Cliff

    So how about that goddamned liar freeinpa?
    .
    (And that’s not a caption, I actually want to know about freeinpa the goddamned liar.)

  • earljr1

    Why should we, little kevie? the democrats did the GOP a HUGE favor designing this absurdly written legislation…..in two years it will help defeat Obama and you progressives will slither under your rock for another eight years.

  • doddeb

    Obama: Hey, John? Yeah, just wanted to touch base and congratulate you after the “shellacking”. So, you just had to call out the tea bagger nut jobs, huh? How’s that workin’ out for you? I mean, I’ll admit that being the first black President, I attracted my share, But all I had to do was say “I solemnly swear” and they came swarming out of the woodwork. But you guys….you encouraged them. And they already have a hit list of RINOs for the next election! You a little bit worried, there, John? I’m thinkin’ any time you get just a whiff of Earl Grey, or Breakfast Blend, there’s gotta be a little sphincter tightening, a little cold sweat breakin’ out on that brow of yours, huh?
    .
    Anyway…just to let you know I’ve already tried that “bipartisanship” thing and the results were not even mixed. So, if you think you can pursue some agenda all on your own, you can just kiss my entire, money-making, black a$$. Okay, buh bye.

  • certifiablylazy

    2 yr meme: If sh!t gets worse, its because it takes time for the Rs to implement the peoples will; Ds obstruct. If it gets better, it’s because the Rs implemented the peoples will by overcoming the Ds obstruction.

  • herby002

    Hello, White House switchboard?
    Connect me to any Republican who wants to work with me in the interests of the country…

    waiting…

    waiting…

    waiting…

    waiting…

    waiting…

    waiting…

  • blossom38

    Boy, that was beyond dumb and completely unfunny.

  • deconstructiva

    Obama to Boehner: “John, dude, whazzup? Hey, congrats on your win… but remember Hillary’s 3am ad? That was no ad, that was for real, believe me. Tell ya what: I’ll be calling you and Mitch every night at 3am for the next two years …literally… until you agree to all my demands, ahem, I mean, you’re willing to compromise….”

  • deconstructiva

    Actually, this phone call is from MI6’s “M” to Obama. James Bond and everyone else got tired of listening to her prattling on and on and on and she had no one else left who would listen –
    .

    .
    (judging from this, what really happens in Obama / CIA meetings?)

  • deconstructiva

    So Boehner and McConnell think their plan for world domination will succeed without any pushback? Such naive fools, ha! Obama places the call to launch his own defense…
    .

    .
    …and teach those TP / R’s a lesson.

  • deconstructiva

    Now that Congressional control is split between D’s and R’s, the two parties’ corporate leaders meet for updates and plot new strategies. Obama phones in his input…
    .

    .
    (I think Blofeld’s cat really ran SPECTRE.)

  • kevin

    It’s funny if you realize Rusty apparently thinks the congressman who did have a taste for little boys — Mark Foley — was somehow a Democrat.

  • kevin

    You’re absolutely right.
    .
    Please, do try to repeal it. Ignore the polls that show 60%-70% approval of the individual components of the bill. Ignore the polls that show a majority does not favor repeal.
    .
    Try to repeal it. I’m sure the American people will thank you for making them have to deal with pre-existing condition bans again, and letting the insurance companies jack up their premiums at a record clip again, and kicking off early 20s kids from their parents’ plans, etc etc.
    .
    They will adore you for taking that away from them. They’ll probably outlaw the Democratic Party in thanks. Please. Go ahead and do it.

  • kbanginmotown

    That was funny! Thx decon.
    .
    A fun mash-up would be Obama on the phone listening to Boehner blubbering on and on about his rise up from obscurity…*sniff*…*choke*…*sniff*…

  • earljr1

    Little kevie, progressive apologist to the bitter end. I know reading comprehension is difficult for you, little one, but I definitely WANT this monstrosity to stick around. It will only make it that much easier to defeat Obama in 2012. All of your bogus points will prove too costly for the consumer and the coverage they are left with nothing better than “junk” policies with extremely high (5-8k) deductibles and limited coverage. Yes, indeed, the democrats were masterful in constructing this Turkey and hey, Obama OWNS it! (good news for the GOP)

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