1000 Words: Handcuffed To The Fence

Don’t tell anybody we’re gay and hold up a Tea Party sign. Fox will say that thousands of us descended on the White House.

Did somebody fart? I smell semen.

The weirdest case of S&M I’ve ever seen.

The end of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. Armageddon at 6.

You obviously didn’t click on MS’ link…

Gays and lesbians. Handcuffs. A fence. The White House. Kinky.

Didn’t the conservatives predict this would happen if Obama got elected?

I did read the link first. It’s a “1000 Words” and I will not be denied however.

Our fighting force has been severely hampered by its new “don’t ask, don’t tell, don’t feed the soldiers chained to the fence” policy.

I can’t believe I’m responding to this….
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They were all discharged.
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Now I feel dirty.

“fairy and balanced”

The Few.

The Proud.

The Marooned.

Obama: There are gays and lesbians handcuffed to the fence. Fox news is saying that hundreds of Teabaggers are going to do the same thing next week.

Biden: I’m calling an electrician. I just thought of something funny.

hahahaha… just spit coffee on my computer screen.

A scene from “Rambo” keeps popping in my head.

If they’re evangelical Teabaggers, we could always claim they’ve just “got the spirit” when they start twitching.

It’s a little early to call a win, but I really like this one.

Nobody appears to actually be handcuffed to the fence.

If it’s simulated bondage, it must be a republican fundraising event instead.

Rahm: Mr. President, there’s a group of gay military politicians outside who are unhappy with your position on Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.

President Obama: They don’t like my position? What’s their position.

Rahm: They’re on the fence.

President Obama: But that’s my position.

Rahm: No, they are literally on the fence. They are handcuffed to it.

President Obama: Well I can’t fault them for being on the fence, but I never recommend getting too attached to any particular position. Can you go down there and feel them out?

Rahm: I’m not sure that’s a good idea.

President Obama: Why not?

Rahm: Last time I tried that I lost half a finger.

President Obama: I thought it was a meat processing machine?

Rahm: Yeah, that’s sort of a euphamism.

Gay protesters shout “Let my people blow”.

Dick Cheney takes aim at the protesters from the upper left side of the White House. They’re safe.

Told ya’ they had teeth.

Obama: Rahm, why don’t you play the little Dutch boy and go stick your finger in the dyke.

Doesn’t the ‘Don’t ask – Don’t tell’ policy lend all new meaning to the phrase “Secret Service”?

MS: What were you thinking throwing a picture like that out here? Thanks. More please.

Denied admittance through the back door, they use the front lawn.

They huffed and they puffed and they blew everybody.

When the protesters were asked why there weren’t more members of the Westboro Baptist Church, one man replied “Thank God for IUD’s”.

Sacred, you’d find the humor in a funeral. Any plans for how to stage your own?

With the new copy write laws protecting record labels, impersonating the Village People just doesn’t pay.

Where are the cop, construction worker and Native American? I feel a song comin’ on…

Dang, patrick. That’s what I get for not refreshing my browser more often…good one!

JC: Your question reminds me of the difference between an Irish wedding and Irish funeral. A: One less drunk…

My first complaint was why couldn’t they be symmetrically even in front of the WH cause it would be a better picture, but I get it now.

jcapan: I have already left instructions for my funeral. The mrs approves of my requests. No minister, no serious eulogy. I just want everybody to come dressed casual and anybody that feels like it can tell a funny story about something they did with me or relate something stupid I did that they remember. I’m getting buried in a Beatles t-shirt, jeans and tennis shoes. I hate wearing a suit and if I’m wrong about death being the end, I sure as f**k don’t want to be wandering around in some afterlife wearing one. I want really loud, tasteless floral arrangements and classic rock to be played in the background. I’d also like somebody to slip a doober into the coffin before they close the lid. Just to tide me over.

My second of course is why isn’t the sniper on the roof using binoculars to check them out? I mean really you can’t get that good of a look without them.

We are chained to this fence to show solidarity with our fellow liberals. We demand an increase in fairy dust, more rainbows, lollipops and a unicorn for every progressive in America! We also join with all liberals in voicing our fear of those SCARY tea party people. Please, Mr. Obama, you promised that our little, protective bubble would NEVER burst and that is JUST what they say is going to happen, come November.

Somehow, I thought it’d involve a key party. Go figure.
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I’m anti-funeral/pro-wake. Total cremation for me, not saving any bone souvenirs like the Japanese. My ashes spread in an undisclosed wilderness area in the American West. But if the people foolish enough to love me choose to have a wake of some sorts, “Into the Mystic” would blast their f’ing ears off.

The Native American is with Barney Frank and the cop is in the bathroom with Larry Craig.

Earl,
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You do realize that the goal is to make people laugh, don’t you?

Am I banned?

The Van Morrison song? Good choice. Mine is Lennon’s “Imagine”.

Yes
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SATSQ

They’d better ban me first. I think I try harder.

Sweet! I’m not banned!

Ah, you’re clever, jcapan.
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And if they’re going to ban anyone, it should be the blogwhores first.

Gee, patrick, when I think of what is going to happen to democrats in November, I laugh out loud!

sqr1 FTW!

“In the Navy”?
After reading Jay’s / Catherine’s post, that brings up Churchill’s remark about the British Navy’s rum, sodomy, and the lash.

Whatever was the remark that got erased, it must’ve been a real jaw-dropper. But word on getting blogwhores tossed out.

Nfl, you should read some of Rusty’s literotica he posts here: biker nun fetishwear, lesbian cellmates, etc. Seriously.

That would be a real shocker (yes, the hand gesture double entendre applies).

I didn’t think it was that bad – no asterisks, no swears, no insults directed at family members, no insinuations of deliberate falsehoods.
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It wasn’t even as bad as cincinnatus’ infamous “Go f@ck yourself Michael Scherer” remark.
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I just highlighted a certain ineptitude that I thought should be obvious to the discerning reader.

Palinn watching at home: That’s disrespectful. If I get elected Queen I’d never allow it to happen.

kbang, your excellent Irish one-liner reminds me of another short one I heard earlier: An Irishman walks out of a bar….
(yes, that’s it)
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sacred, I’m pondering for real making this my funeral song and putting it in the will…

…and word on no suits. I hate those too, esp. ties.

“cincinnatus’ infamous ‘Go f@ck yourself Michael Scherer’ remark”
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In his defense, I’d say that expression was quite regular back in the day. For a while, I thought it was SG’s signature line. Cincy’s comments to KT, however…
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I’ve always longed to find an emoticon that allows me to expose myself. Just for when I’m getting too into things here, I’d know I have a trick up my sleeve (pantsleg?), sort of like checking yourself into detox.

Mine would be “Damaged Goods” by The Gang Of Four.

…and while still pondering all things British (thanks Jay), the WH protesters could use the lawn for… activities …instead of the fence, like this couple did at Windsor Castle –
http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2009/apr/30/sex-windsor-castle-lawn-queen

I’m not understanding your emoticon thing.

I’ll take that as a high-handed compliment Sacred

Estimates are for a 21 seat Republican gain in the house and shrinking every single day as the armed IRS agents and death panels never materialize.
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By November, it will be down to five or ten gains, if that many.
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Lies only last so long, Earl.
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Now we have gotten Republicans to even discuss reforming Wall Street: also known as the Republican Vatican.

If it means anything to these guys, Sam Alito’s wife will soon stop by so her dog can do its business.

Channeling his inner Lynne Cheney, huh?

as the armed IRS agents and death panels never materialize
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Only as far as you know, patricksartor.
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As far as you know.
/paranoid wingnut

ftw. Made it official.
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OT, but I live 45 miles from Pittsburgh. I’ve hated the Steelers for over 40 years. I loved seeing Big Ben get the suspension today. There’s only a couple of non Steelers fans at work. The rest are die-hard fans. We got shunned by the other guys for torturing them…. so I ordered pizza for me and the other guy. We ate the whole box by ourselves out at the picnic table while they were in the lunch room. There was a piece of polish sausage in the refrigerator. I stuck it in the box, squirted mayonaise all over the end, wrote “Big Ben sends his love” on the inside of the box, took it into the lunchroom, sat it down on the table and told the other guys, “No hard feelings. I’m sorry”. I just cleared the door before the polish sausage came flying out at me.

“Mindful of the widely – held belief that defence costs are out of control, the JCS meet in Washington.”

Expose as in the “twig and berries,” as in an emoticon that can visually convey such an act. In other words, Cliff, I’m saying that there are worse things than being banned. F-bombing someone just doesn’t have enough pizzazz–now, pants at my ankles, rotating the hips, that spells “legacy”

SZ, As a contemporary, I have to applaud your physical capacity to listen to such music. I simply can’t handle the hard stuff anymore (even pre baby)

Pulling a Braveheart on JNS. Now that I would pay to see.

Wow. When will he stop chasing after jailbait? Idiot. Good luck with our old Jags QB BTW.

This cannot be topped! Absliartly hilarious!

“Please, Mr. Obama, you promised that our little, protective bubble would NEVER burst and that is JUST what they say is going to happen, come November.”
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Um, guys (girls too):
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This is humor!

earljr1:
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( ( ) ffffffffft!

Extreme GOP Makeover: 2013 White House Edition

“The Republicans submit their design for a gay-and-lesbian-bondage-club themed White House. Highlights include a complete repurposing and makeover of the Oval Office and the Queens’ Bedroom.”

It was really good.