Ari’s Next Act

The New York Post reports:

Two sources in the golf community have told The Post that Ari Fleischer, the former presidential advisor to George W. Bush and the man who was brought in to help repair the steroid-shattered image of Mark McGwire, has been huddling with Woods, plotting a strategy for his return to golf — at the Arnold Palmer Invitational starting March 25 at Bay Hill in Orlando.

Related Topics: ari fleischer, Tiger Woods, Uncategorized
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  • nflfoghorn

    I didn’t know Fliescher had been spending time with Massa and his friends :)

  • nflfoghorn

    e before i

    It takes a former WH press sec to repair your image now? What’s Tiger doing to repair it?

  • deconstructiva

    Well, if Palmer has his “Arnie’s Army” then Tiger can have his Front Nine and Back Nine. Tiger’s caddy still may need to keep Elin away from the drivers in the golf bag.

  • sacredh

    If they put hair around the holes, Tiger will win.

  • deconstructiva

    Did this happen?
    Fleischer (when first asked to work with McGwire): “Well, I’m guessing this will be a pain in the ass, but I’ll give it a shot.”

  • afguy

    Ain’t the driver Tiger needs to keep Ellie away from.
    .
    He need to worry about her getting to his “putter” with a kitchen knife.

  • deconstructiva

    Will Perkins sponsor Tiger now? He’s gonna need some new brands backing him.

  • deconstructiva

    …ftw!

  • sacredh

    OxyClean? It removes even the dirtiest stains.

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  • afguy

    Thew way I figure it, she’s already got a firm grip on the other two balls in his bag… and can squeeze whenever she feels fit.

  • sacredh

    Lay’s Potato Chips. Betcha can’t eat just one.

  • nflfoghorn

    Hair-in-the-hole jokes aside, Ari isn’t going to help Tiger nearly as much as Tiger can help Tiger. He blew it by not going on 60 Minutes or similar program when it first started. He still thinks he’s owed a certain right of privacy. Not now, prolly not ever. The golf peanut galleries are going to be particularly rough.

  • afguy

    UPS/FedEx: when she absolutely, positively has to get here for an overnighter.

  • kevin

    Exxon: Put a Tiger in Your Tank

  • deconstructiva

    …maybe Augusta won’t be too bad; Bethpage and the NYC crowds will shred him.

  • afguy

    U.S. Army: Run over A Tiger With Your Tank.

  • nflfoghorn

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  • Ivy_B

    Ari Fleischer gives me the creeps. What happened to his shilling for Freedom’s Watch? Haven’t heard from that group for a while, maybe they are out of business.

  • grape_crush

    Golfers appreciate a well manicured surface when trying to sink one in the hole…
    .
    What?

  • sacredh

    Winning will cure many of his problems. I also think that many people are more impressed by the sheer volume of his conquests than they’re willing to admit.

  • afguy

    Kellogg’s Rice Krispies: We don’t snap, crackle or pop – we just lie there and bang…
    .
    (OK, that’s an old one…)

  • afguy

    No, just slithered under a different rock…

  • afguy

    sacredh: Then Wilt Chamberlain must be an absolute GOD to them…

  • destor23

    Ari’s repped for the one man who’s screwed more people than Tiger.

    Rimshot.

  • afguy

    Rimshot granted…

  • sacredh

    afguy: I think Tiger may have just as many admirers as critics when it comes to his cheating. Most guys are horndogs when it comes down to it. Even those of us that would never consider cheating on their wives have a certain amount of jealousy when it comes to finding out that another guy was leading the life that Tiger did. Money, fame, beautiful women…it’s an erotic dream come true. His just turned into a nightmare.

  • afguy

    He blew it…
    .
    nflfoghorn: You sure? Don’t think Tiger “swings THAT way”…

  • afguy

    Sacredh: I know… been around too many of those myself to dispute that.

  • square1

    I find Fleischer oddly fascinating. He is the son of Democrats from suburban NY. Sort of a late-stage Rockefeller Republican, back when that term had some meaning.

    Like DLCers, and Joe Klein to a lesser extent, Fleischer appears to have rejected the Democrats’ association with “loser” groups (e.g. minorities, feminists, unions).

    The point being that, once the Wall Street wing of the Democratic Party reasserted its authority in the 90′s and 00′s and the wingnuts took over the GOP, I would have expected Fleisher to abandon the Republican Party.

    I find it so weird to find formerly semi-rational Republicans gleefully participating in the full-on descent of the GOP into a party of wacky John Birchers.

  • sacredh

    He sures like a challenge.
    .
    Ari, Courtney Love is on line 2.

  • kbanginmotown

    LOL!

  • stuartzechman

    Clearly this individual needs to be on television harshly critiquing Democrats’ national security credibility.
    .
    Just as clearly, Democrats must be very, very fearful of such critiques.

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  • sacredh

    afguy: I think I’m a fairly decent guy and faithful to a fault, but when a woman pulls up her bikini top and flashes me at work…I look. I get that at least a couple of dozen times every summer.

  • kbanginmotown
  • kbanginmotown

    Ford: Drive One

  • stuartzechman

    I would have expected Fleisher to abandon the Republican Party
    .
    I know, it’s just that there really is a divide between the really, really radical security-state neo-conservatives, and the relative orthodoxy of the “realist,” less-radical, security-state Serious Foreign Policy Community consensus.
    .
    Joe Klein doesn’t literally favor a micro-theater, tactical nuclear strike against Iran –yet.
    .
    But, hey, let Tom Friedman write another visionary column, have a former 3 star lead a Power Point presentation, then let Michael O’Hanlon come out with another piece of scholarly wisdom, and…who knows?

  • afguy

    sacredh: Two questions:
    .
    (1) Just what is it you do???
    (2) Any long-term or short-term openings there on the horizon?

  • afguy

    Nike: Just Do it Already Did it…

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  • sacredh

    afguy: I work on a dam. Summertime is great. Drunk motorboaters and women in bikinis. The best time is when Jamboree in the Hills is going on. Those people are my favorites. Really drunk, lots of fun, few if any inhibitions and they’re rowdy in a good way.
    .
    There’s a waiting list a mile long for these jobs. I’ve got 35 years in and I can’t recall anybody ever quitting. They’re retirement jobs. You get hired and retire from them. It’s a beautiful place to work, the pay’s good, the benfits are excellent and there’s almost no turnover. There’s seldom a day that goes by that I’m not grateful to have lucked into it.

  • freeinpa

    ACORN on line 3 need a recount

  • Ivy_B

    The splendid Charlie Pierce has a comment on this -

    What can possibly go wrong?

    Professional prevaricator, and cosmetologist to several public pigs, Ari Fleischer, is said to be on the Tiger Woods case. This should be fun to watch, as well as being a lengthy and refreshing dip into the cool and restorative waters of……the Great Lake Of Fail.

    http://www.boston.com/sports/columnists/pierce/2010/03/what_can_possibly_go_wrong.html?camp=localsearch:on:twit:pierce

  • FlownOver

    Yeah, I’d been pretty much “who cares?” until now about Woods and his fidelity issues. If he hires a lying weasel like Fleischer that’s enough reason for me to go anti-Tiger.

  • abdullah69

    sacredh, are you sure you are not just a radiologist?

  • abdullah69

    As long as Ari does not employ the “baby retard” strategy for Tiger – either declare one of your children to be a retard to get the VP nomination, or, if you are already VP, get them a gig with Fox News.

  • sacredh

    I do have my favorite classic rock stations that I listen to, but I’m not a radiologist.

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