Florida Senate Race Gets Hairy: “Wait A Second. Stop. A Back Wax?”

By Michael Scherer | @michaelscherer | March 9, 2010 | +

Ah, Florida. Land of Disney dreams, Miami Vice, easy Oxycontin, and news reports like this:

Florida Highway Patrol troopers say a two-vehicle crash Tuesday at Mile Marker 21 on Cudjoe Key was caused by a 37-year-old woman driver who was shaving her bikini area while her ex-husband took the wheel from the passenger seat. “She said she was meeting her boyfriend in Key West and wanted to be ready for the visit,” Trooper Gary Dunick said. (h/t Ben Smith)

Now, the Back Wax Attack.

Last night, Gov. Charlie Christ went on Fox News’s Greta Van Susteren with a whole new line of attack against his primary opponent Marco Rubio.

CRIST: [H]e’s trying to pawn himself off as a fiscal conservative. And yet just in reason weeks, two weeks ago it has come out in news accounts he had a Republican Party of Florida credit card that he charged $130 haircut, or maybe it was a back wax — we are not sure what all he got at that place.

VAN SUSTEREN: Wait a second, stop. A back wax? Wait a second.

CRIST: I don’t know what it was, you know?

VAN SUSTEREN: I know, but was there a suggestion it was for a back wax or are you being flip?

CRIST: I don’t know what it was. Initially we were told it was a haircut. And then he said it wasn’t a haircut. Then he had the gall to go on Neil Cavuto’s show and said it was his money. It was a credit card from the Republican Party. It was party donors’ money. The detachment from reality is stunning to me. And to try to say that you’re a fiscal conservative, yet you spend $130 for maybe a haircut and maybe other things, I don’t know what you do at a salon we you are a guy. I get my haircut for $11 from a guy named Carl the Barber in St. Petersburg, Florida where I grew up. And to me that’s real fiscal conservatism.

Truth be told, without the phrase “Back Wax” I would never have written this blog post, so the stunt by Christ worked. But it may not be enough. The Real Clear Politics polling average in that race has Christ losing the primary vote by more than 11 points.

On another note, there is a question for Marco Rubio that is perhaps more germane to his fiscal conservatism. Rubio has joined with Crist and just about every other Florida politician in protesting President Obama’s planned cuts to the Constellation program, which aimed to send Americans back to the moon by 2020. Does moon travel count as the sort of core government service that a fiscal conservative wants their tax money funding? Or is this just another case of a provincial politician protecting his local pork?

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shakrai

One could argue that losing our native capability for manned spaceflight has national security implications.
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Whether or not NASA is the best way to retain said capability is open or debate but I’m personally troubled that the Obama Administration seems so eager to throw space exploration under the bus while spending hundreds of billions of dollars to bail out their friends in Detroit and Wall Street….
sevenoaks07

Michael:Did Crist become Christ after appearing on GvS?
http://www.ghostnote.com Cookie Puss

“Moon travel.” Is that a euphemism?
queencersei

Sigh…the expensive haircut faux outrage. In how many elections have pols used this lame crap against each other? It is right up there with the pols who leave office “to spend more time with my family.” Riiiiiight.
.

Oh and in answer to your last question…yes. It is always pork unless it is for your district. Then it is super necessary to the functioning of the entire country.
http://www.stevebeste.com stevebeste

Here’s the translation for those not in tune with Florida politics.

“Rubio is vain, maybe gay” – There’s been a ton of publicity about a former legislative aide who worked for Katherine Harris (THAT – 2000 – Katherine Harris) and Ellyn Bogdanoff who says he slept with Crist. Rubio’s supporters have be playing the Charlie’s gay charge recently.

“Rubio is swarthy Hispanic” – For all the talk, with the exception of Miami Cubans, the Florida GOP is cracker white. Not many hispanic faces at Florida Tea Parties, no matter how much Rubio was the poster boy at CPAC. And this is the GOP Primary.

It’s getting Crist the publicity he needs, but hell, this is desperation.
newfreedomblog

“Does moon travel count as the sort of core government service that a fiscal conservative wants their tax money funding? Or is this just another case of a provincial politician protecting his local pork?”

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No, and Yes.
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Of course you could also report in the same blog posting that over 23,000 jobs are at risk of being lost with Obama’s “cuts” in spending. Did you forget that part Mr Scherer?
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http://www.nasawatch.com/archives/2010/02/nasa-job-cuts-o.html
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7,000 jobs in and around Houston, and 14,000 jobs in Florida.
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Now ask yourself readers, for the mere .003% of the budget the NASA program costs related to other budget expenditures, does it out-weigh all the years we have enjoyed products that have come about as a result of NASA’s R&D?
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But, we can count on Obama to shift money away from human flight into space and replace it with more satelites to investigate Global Warming/Climate Change. Is that where the money will now go, Michael?
Ivy_B

Thanks! I would have missed it otherwise.
afguy

shakrai,
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Don’t get me started on the present condition of our Space Exploration Program.
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It’s criminal what it has been allowed to become…
redraven937

Of course you could also report in the same blog posting that over 23,000 jobs are at risk of being lost with Obama’s “cuts” in spending. Did you forget that part Mr Scherer?

Of course, you could also mention that those jobs come with the price tag of $108 billion. Or, you know, $4,695,652.17 per job. You could put a lot more people to work for even $4.7 million, let alone $108 billion.
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I am all for space exploration and such, but you cannot have it both ways.
apr2563

newfreedom and MS: An article by Buzz Aldrin who thinks Obama’s proposal is quite courageous.
destor23

Greta seems really interested in back waxing. It would be wildly irresponsible for you Massa obsessed journalists not to investigate my new claim that Greta van Susteren has a hairy back.
afguy

But, we can count on Obama to shift money away from human flight into space and replace it with more satelites to investigate Global Warming/Climate Change. Is that where the money will now go, Michael?
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Don’t need more satellites to study that, Rusty. The existing ones can do the sensor studies in ALL of the wavelengths needed.
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And the neglect of Space Exploration has been TRULY bi-partisan.
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Bidding/studies for the replacement of the Shuttle should have been done years and years ago. Now we have no replacement for it.
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Need transportation for larger rocket booster pieces that the C-5 can’t handle? Either put it on a barge or call the Russians! That ANT-124 cargo plane you see at the airshows is what WE use to do that. Ironic to the max!!! We beat them to the moon – now we can’t do without them.
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We let the space program languish because SOMEONE decided that all of the solutions needed to be “free-market capitalism” solutions. SOMEONE would come up with the next space transport solution, WITHOUT government involvement.
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Well??? We’re still waiting for that “invisible hand” to get moving on that one…
grape_crush

I’m personally troubled that the Obama Administration seems so eager to throw space exploration under the bus…
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We have other priorities at the moment, dontcha think?
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…while spending hundreds of billions of dollars to bail out their friends in Detroit and Wall Street….
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Liar. Bush signed the those into law, not Obama.

http://www.time.com/time/business/article/0,8599,1868815,00.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emergency_Economic_Stabilization_Act_of_2008
kevin

Does moon travel count as the sort of core government service that a fiscal conservative wants their tax money funding?
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I’m reminded of the David Cross standup routine about how the Bush initiative to go to the moon again was really just a scheme for the rich to escape the planet they were ruining.
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“What, do you all think you’re coming too? No, no. Didn’t you read the Bible? The meek inherit the Earth. So … good luck with that.”
grape_crush

I don’t know what it was. Initially we were told it was a haircut. And then he said it wasn’t a haircut.

A happy ending, maybe?
shakrai

1.2:
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Don’t throw words like “liar” at me. How did Obama vote for those bills when he was in the Senate? He supported every single one of the bail outs. He doesn’t get a get out of jail free card for them.
nflfoghorn

Jesus doesn’t stand a chance against Rubio
afguy

rearaven,
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You don’t sound like you’re truly FOR space exploration as much as you aren’t overtly AGAINST it.
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Unmanned probes have a place; mannded exploration has a place; neither is the entire answer until itself.
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I’m reminded of those who say all exploration should be put on hold until we can solve all of our problems here on earth. (We NEVER will do that…)
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My feeling is that, the day we stop trying to expand our knowledge and to learn, that’s the day we start to die as a species.
pafro

As a geoscientist I am all for Moon research and space exploration, but robotic missions are so much cheaper and can accomplish probably 95% of the research manned flights can.
At this point sending men back to the Moon is just a not-so-cheap stunt meant to distract the public. Since expensive distraction of the public is basically the Republican motto these days, it doesn’t surprise me the least that the so called fiscal conservatives are so gung-ho to grab some more money.
If we are going to pay Floridians for stunts, I bet we can line up some trailer park reality show to create a few jobs there.
afguy

Grape,
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If it was a “Back Wax”, why $130??
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I could get the same thing accomplished with a few lengths off of a $7.95 roll of “industrial-strength” Duct Tape.
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True, the atmosphere of the spa he visited was probably better… and the neighbors wouldn’t be able to hear the scream when the removal “process” began…
afguy

pafro,
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Problem is, right now, we’re not doing EITHER (probes or manned exploration) especially well…
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We’ve allowed our imaginations to “stagnate”…
nflfoghorn

Rubio doesn’t really have many credentials except: 1) he has the full backing of ‘Jed Blush’ and 2) Tea Partiers gobble up his spiel. I think things will get hairier for him once the August primary comes around. Don’t be surprised if ‘Christ’ runs as an independent a la LIEberman if he loses to Markie.
nflfoghorn

Kinda like all Congressmen are bad, except for YOUR Congressman.
apr2563

http://www.onenewspage.com/news/Technology/20100204/8002231/Buzz-Aldrin-President-Obama-JFK-Moment.htm
Sorry, his the link to Buzz Aldrin’s approval of Obama’s plans for NASA.

Below is just an article and video I love about Aldrin punching someone.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/07/20/buzz-aldrin-punches-moon_n_241664.html
afguy

We lost a couple of Mars probes because of glaringly simple software errors (failure to convert miles to km in one case).
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I know, right now, there’s no money for that, but I hope that, at some point, someone figures out how to re-kindle our imaginations.
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Right now, the only innovation we seem to be interested in is financial in nature.
allthingsinaname

Well it is the same here in TX. Our Rep are screaming about the cuts too, but we also rank 47th in education, and they want to cut property taxes that for it.
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I am beginning to wonder if they don’t have muti-personalities.
apr2563

destor: I read this 10 minutes ago and I am still laughing. Thanks.
pafro

Maybe you missed the whole Mars Rover thing?
_
They were supposed to run for 90 days and ended up producing some really good science for years.
_
That was one of the crown achievements of NASA since its inception.
grape_crush

Don’t throw words like “liar” at me.
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Well then, don’t lie. It’s that easy.
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How did Obama vote for those bills when he was in the Senate?
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And now comes the backpedal…You did say, “Obama Administration”, not “Obama was one of 74 Democrats and Republicans that voted for the Emergency Economic Stabilization Act of 2008″.
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He doesn’t get a get out of jail free card for them.
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No reason he should need one.
afguy

No, I didn’t. I also believe that one of the other Rovers stopped working relatively shortly after it landed (stopped responding to commands, IIRC).
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And they had a number of expensive failures in followup missions due to trying to do things on the “cheap”.
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I’m a great fan of the probe program. Mariner and Voyager got info LONG after they were expected to.
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And the ingenuity exhibited to get those from planet to planet, using the technology available, was inspiring
kbanginmotown

Re: NASA and Detroit.
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I am in favor of both a US space program and a strong domestic manufacturing industry. But, let’s keep our monies in the correct ledgers, shall we?
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NASA is funded by the US government.
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GM & Chrysler have received loans from the US government, which they are in the process of paying back.
kbanginmotown

“Charlie Christ”…Jesus’ ne’er do well younger brother…
Ivy_B

Think about how impressive GvS is to accomplish it! I remember her from commenting on the Simpson trial. Had no idea moving to Faux would give her these creds, would have thought she would have to have gone to Eternal Word or similar.
sacredh

With all the plastic surgery and facelift jobs that Greta’s had, maybe the back hair came from below? You know, like Joan Rivers. She smiles and her boobs move up 2 inches.
sacredh

I’m betting on a landing stripe. If he’s a hairy guy, maybe corn rows on his butt.
deconstructiva

I just hope that poor woman who was shearing the beaver did NOT hit any potholes while driving. If we have laws against texting while driving, are activities down there “covered” too under current laws?
sacredh

There’s nothing worse than a bad haircut.
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All these new threads and I have to go to work. Carry on folks.
deconstructiva

I can see the billboard campaigns: “Don’t Go Down There” and “Don’t Make Love While Driving: a message from the Florida Highway Patrol”. The pix should be highly entertaining.