1,000 Words: High-caloric edition

Hey you! The fat kid in the back! You’re not allowed to eat any of these!

The new school lunch menu after the lobbyists had their input.

I’ll have 4 donuts, a brownie, 2 pieces of cake and a diet coke.

First Lady Michelle Obama prepares Rush Limbaugh’s mid-morning snack.

No child’s fat ass left behind.

Thanks KT. Another winning photo.

Time magazine:

Speaking on behalf of the pro-America community, I respectfully request that you please give us a reprieve from your daily photo celebrations of the angry, bitter, militant Michelle “For the first time in my adult life, I am proud of my country” Obama, and instead provide us with daily photo galleries of Tanith Belbin at the Olympics. I think she skates tonight. Trust me that everybody in the pro-America community would much prefer to see photos of Tanith Belbin. Thank you.

When will this administration take anything seriously? Now they’re treating childhood obesity like a police matter!

This pro-American thinks you’re doing just fine KT. I’m with the real majority though, not the 29% supermajority.

Nancy Reagan sez “Just Say No”
Michelle Obama sez “Not until you’ve eaten your asparagus!”

I’d like to welcome everyone to Weight Watcher’s hell.

Get it straight:
The quote is: “For the first time in my adult life, I am really proud of my country.”
.
As in:
…I have always been proud of my country…
…Now, I am really proud.
.
C’mon. Make a comment about her dress. It’s more your style…

Pfff…Oprah already had this as one of her favorite things.

Does anyone know if the first lady dunks her doughnuts?

Photogs snap furiously as Michelle snarfs down her fifth Cinnabon…breaking the world record.

Got Milk?

Reporter (off screen): Mrs Obama, what do you think of the lunch menu?
.
Michelle: Mmmfff…hrmmmfff…hffff.

Michelle (speaking out loud): “Y’know. When they said I’d be providing every Haitian with 4000 calories for a week, I wondered how they managed to fit it all in the back of one pickup truck…”

Ha!
.
Replace donuts w/ brewskis for AA hell…

Dunking is too close to waterboarding. She doesn’t want to go there yogi.

Michelle: Just say Yes!

kbang: Back in the 70′s I somehow tested positive for 12 out of the 15 things they tested for after being arrested for DUI. I had to attend classes (bless a good lawyer) and we used to get loaded during our break. Talk about hell.

Monica Lewinski’s take on that was “Not Milk”.

Hah! That explains why only law enforcement dunk their doughnuts, its just practice.

The annual Karen Carpenter memorial takes an ugly turn.

…don’t forget the bacon cheeseburger.

F**k teabags! We’ve got pastries!

I thought Monica’s take was, “Noooo, not on the dress please….”

Michelle: See all those holes in the donuts? I shot them all out with a rifle from a helicopter.

Michelle: “Sorry, everyone, your treats are on the way. This table of goodies is reserved as a gift to this smart, talented woman for her excellent interviews and ’08 campaign coverage …Karen Tumulty.”
KT: “Oh noooo….” groans

F’ the yams, we have donuts!

deconstructiva, are you sure it wasn’t “Good to the last drop”?

textee: ” .. “For the first time in my adult life, I am proud of my country” ..”

That said ..
textee, have you ever uttered that sentence in your adult life? Answer with a “Yes” or “No”. Comprehend?

And to think, she grew all of these in the White House garden during the winter! What a gal!

And police matter is not serious stuff.

Not until you’ve eaten your arugula?

The Cavs are on now. Carry on folks.

Amy is standing at the unlit doorway in tears. She arrived with her special MacArthur Park cake too late and now it’s melting in the dark, all the sweet green icing flowing down…
(and yes, Amy will never have that recipe again; the website crashed and she forgot to print it)
…but fear not, KT and her teammates offer to take the cake back to the office and devour it.

…any WW participants here? (not me) Is there any way to swap items, cut back, etc. to make room for these treats?

Michelle shows off her new edible dress….

Darn, I had a Limbaugh joke all ready to post. You are too quick.

All together now: “Lady!”, FLOTUS!”, “Lady!”, FLOTUS!”, .. …

Michelle is prepping the food for the upcoming ceremony: the Simpsons family is about to receive the Presidential Medal of Freedom (another truckload of donuts is arriving).

apr2563: Rush is a big enoungh target for a few jokes. Fire away. I know I will.

…and probably the students’ input too (w/ pizza).

Michelle: I take it back! Stop eating your hand!

The edible panties never made it out of the White House.

Send Rush Limbaugh a case of donuts and Viagra and he will be busy for days.

deconstructiva: There are some good snacks that Weight Watchers has. Their fudge bars are really good and they’re only 2 points. My wife goes off and on. I’m 6’3″ and 185 pounds with a sky high metabolism. I eat like a horse.

Michelle Obama and Sarah Palin (out of camera view) –
Michelle: (holding a giant yam) …now Sarah and I may not agree on much…
Sarah: …or anything, also…
Michelle: …but we do agree on good nutrition for good looks. Now you can eat this yam and look like us, or you can eat these cakes and donuts and look like…
Sarah: (whispers) …don’t say Rush.
Michelle: (whispers back) I didn’t, you ding dong.
Sarah: (to the audience) Better yet, eating healthy while preggers is the best thing like you can do also. I looked totally like fabulous when I was carrying Trig.
Michelle: (mutters to herself) Yeah right, I’ll bet you did.

Does Rush eat blueberry donuts made from Viagra?

Ftw.
.
Viagra. Donut holes. I’m laughing here.

apr2563: I told you Rush was worth more than one joke. ; )

Glad you made he connection.

My mind is so twisted that it took all of a half of a second. The image of a straw in a whiskey glass popped up.

sacred, thanks for that info. Another plan that seems to be taking off, so to speak, is Nutrisystem. I don’t know much about it beyond sports celebrity ads but two of my neighbors (both guys) are on this system daily.

My wife bought some cookbooks that have very low fat recipes. Some of them are great. She goes to the meetings with a friend of mine (male). Last week they got a new member and my buddy told her that the newbie would be hot if she lost a few more pounds. My wife told him that she wan’t me or a lesibian and to STFU. My sweetie isn’t very subtle.

V for Limbaugher? Nah. Limbaugh has a ticker problem. The elaborate display of bluster behind the mike should not be mistaken for an indicator of underlying, eh, potency.

Then again, this suggestion may be a godsend for beleaguered DEMs. [Maybe, one extra-dose concentrated V shaped like those drugs he takes.]

I’m on WW! Have been since July.

cfukara: I believe Rush does take the little blue pill. I might be mistaken, but I seem to recall him trying to bring in a bunch from Mexico or someplace down south. I should give him a little warning.
.
If your pencil sized erection lasts for more than 4 hours…go f**k yourself.

Rush is a big enough target to be seen from orbit.

OT: Walter Matthau from “The Couch Trip”:
::licking his lips and sucking a straw::
“Anyone interested in cream-filled donuts without the cream…they’re ready!!”

textee don’t you have a bridge to troll…one wonders how you sleep at night

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0706062rush1.html
Smoking gun on Rush, Domincan Republic, and Viagra prescribed under his doctor’s name. Why do you think Rush needed all that Viagra? Not a pretty picture is it.

No problem with saying eat your veggies, however, the problem is NOT the so called food deserts of which Michelle speaks but the fact that most parents no longer cook.. they let the schools take care of Breakfast and Lunch and open a can of something for dinner..Sad part is the schools no longer cook they serve prepared foods brought in from outside companies none to fresh and none to healthy and most of all NOT FILLING..
Here’s an idea stop allowing donuts, cakes etc be bought on food stamps, that is a start.. if they want those things they can learn to BAKE.. same with pre made foods.. I was at the store and the person in front of me got NAME BRAND foods, pre-made.. while the working poor who are paying for those food stamps are buying the food they have to go home and cook..