1,000 Words: Merry Christmas Edition

Daddy, are you a crook?

And when we’re finished with this one, we’ll go on to “My Pet Goat”

Next we’ll all sing “Checkers Roasting on an Open Fire”.

Pat: Dick, we should be taping this.

Dick: !!

Thanks for this and the NYT Dickens piece, KT. So was Dick the original name for Tiny Tim? Did he originally have the “Tiny” moniker with the original name too? had to ask (good segway for Dick Nixon photo to Charles Dickens and the original Tiny…never mind) From “Where’s Checkers?” in Nixon’s day to “Where’s Trig? Who’s Your Mommy?” today, political holidays are always solemnly amusing.

Daddy?
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Hmmm?
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Why do they call you tricky Dicky? Is that like being Santa Claus?
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Weeeell, yesss, it is, actually, dear, in a way…

One of my favorite Christmas memories remains 1968. We took a family trip from Chicago IL to Hollywood FL to spend the holodays, but my father and I took a side trip and watched the launch of Apollo 8.

Why I suddenly thought of that will be left as an exercise for the reader…….

This photo was taken right before Nixon stood up and threw the book into the fireplace upon reading the line “What about the Hughes loan?” written in crayon.

“…holodays…”
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I like it!

To this day, 18 1/2 pages are still missing from the children’s Christmas book.
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Pat: “Psst, honey, Nikki’s waiting for you in the kitchen.”
Nixon: “Tell Khrushchev I’ll be right there.”
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FlashForward:
“Twas the night before Christmas at the Watergate resort.
Not a creature was stirring ‘cept Liddy, Hunt, and McCord.
Door latches were taped by the burglars with care
In hopes that the DNC info was there…”

win!

…because 8 tiny reindeer helped the Saturn V lift off that day…?

KT, have a merry Christmas. I’ll hit the road soon so I want to wish you, Amy, Jay, Kate, Joe, Michael, and Brooks best holiday wishes (+ gave xmas greetings to Amy and Jay earlier).
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Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays / Festivus + food / gifts to all swampers here.
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John Malkovich / SNL reading – http://www.hulu.com/watch/47611/saturday-night-live-twas-the-night-monologue

Tricia: “Santa’s wearing red! Is he a commie?
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Julie: “And Santa’s giving presents to everyone! Is he a socialist?”
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Nixon: “Now, now girls, it’s only a story. You know that if Santa were real, Daddy would have him arrested and brought before my committee.”

Nixon: “And then Santa went and dropped bombs all over those f–king slant eyed commies in Vietnam.”
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Nixon’s daughter: “God bless us, every one!”

FTW.

Dick: Pat, if you weren’t such a lush you could sit in a chair like a normal person instead of being drunk and sprawled out where you fell.

Wife!
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Don’t just look adoringly at your future POTUS reading to the kids!
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Shine my shoes!

Tricia: Daddy! Checkers peed on the floor!

Pat: Yes. It was Checkers. Bad dog! Burp.

holodays
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Make it so number 1.

Pat: Dick, you worry about the Red Chinese and I’ve work on the White Russians.

Too funny – Must be the calendar girl influence!

To show the girls how ruthless he was, President Nixon mounted the head of Santa Claus above the fireplace.

Ah sacred, this really is your metier! Can’t pick a favorite here, but #17 is close.

Thanks for the merriment you have given to me over the year.

Yowwwwww!!! I nearly barfed!

(btw: If Dick were in the Senate today, he’d be prob 1 STDdev left of center…and Dick Cheney would be attacking him as soft on terrorism.)

You’re the Empress of Swampland, KT.
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May God bless you on tomorrow’s holy day.

Guffaw!

As resident of the Christmas future, may I bid my fellow DFH’s, beloved centrists and rightists alike a Merry Christmas, Happy New Year and other assorted (sordid?) greetings!

Seriously, raise a pint of that home brew!

My Christmas wish is that TIME, Inc hires just one conservative writer/journalist. But, I won’t hold my breath either.
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Merry Christmas everyone, may 2010 bring us more “Change We Can Believe In”. I am sure with the total self destruction we are witnessing with the Democrat Party, next Christmas we can finally breath a sigh of relief.

You’re welcome. My wife is every bit as bad. We love lousy movies and we’re our own MST3K.

Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays to all the contributors and of course our hosts.

Eat too much, drink almost too much, and for at least a day forget the stuff we ALL (left, right, and other) wallow in day in and day out.

Stay classy.

Happy Christmas everyone!

Happy Holidays. Merry Christmas. Drive carefully and think of me working in the freezing rain tonight while you’re all snug and comfy in your homes. Of course I’ll be making a pile of cash by working on Christmas so it all works out in the end. Chances are that I really won’t be out all that much either.

What do you do? We will lift a glass of nog in your absence.
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Well maybe not nog.

Then Santa spotted pink underwear on Helen Gahagan Douglas and reported her to my committee.

Popping in to let y’all know I’m still alive (though if any of y’all are regualrs at Ballon Juice you’d know that) I’m still alive and wish all of you Hausää Joulua. And extra points if you get the language without Googling.

Good one, but I have to ask why Karen Tumulty is promoting this holiday. True liberals ask questions and challenge assumptions. For instance, Ariadne Huffanan wants to know why the White House even has a Christmas tree. Maybe someone should ask them; see that link.

The next cup o’ joe with a touch of Kahlua Especial is for you, Sacred.
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For the rest of you, Merry Christmas!

Pat: Why bother with Vietnam when we have a foreign invasion right here at home? We may as well celebrate Soviet myths!
Dick: Huh? Yes. Here I am – eagerly feeding foreign propaganda into our kids. Will they grow up thinking they are little jews! The crime, the idiocy of it all has gotten under my skin for a long while.
Pat: WE are the superpower.
Dick:We have the writers, the mythmakers as good as any in the world. We have the money to promote and popularize it. Yes, WE are the superpower – not those goat-herders.
Pat: Can do spirit put a man on the moon in ten years. Can’t we do it in less time? Can’t we have our American stories, our own festive season for our American kids?
Dick(glances at Pat sharply then relaxes): I shall work on that during my next term.

If the democrats kept Hillary Clinton away from me, they would have universal health care by now!

Yuts! Merry Christmas! Buon Natale! Feliz Navidad! Joyeux Noël! Fröhliches Weihnachten!

Lots of Christmas wishes at the Swamp – and some Hanuka stuff as well. With a little photoshop magic, I can see a picture with the caption:

1,000 Words: Happy Kwanzaa Edition

[But don't hold your breath at this unabashedly racist judeo-christian blog.]

Merry Christmas to all you Swampers! Buon Natale a tutti, e buon capodanno! Augurissimi!

This could, of course, be due to the overwhelming number of Judeo-Christian posters, or least those who come from Judeo-Christian backgrounds. Why would they offer up Kwanzaa or Eid greetings if these are holidays/celebrations unfamiliar to them?

” .. if these are holidays/celebrations unfamiliar to them? ..”
Why are the holidays/celebrations unfamiliar to the loquacious sages?
How familiar are the revelers (and KT) with jewish christmas myth they celebrate? Intimately?
[How familiar are the commenters (and the loud town-hall howlers of August) with the HCR bill they wax so clever about?]

No Nixon caption is complete without a dose of racism and violence.

Pnnto: I work on a dam. My advice to drive carefully was prophetic. I think I totaled my wife’s car on the way to work last night. I wasn’t injured but Bambi’s dad didn’t survive.
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Merry Christmas to all and to all a goodnight.

Dear Santa,
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Sorry about your reindeer. Please don’t hold this against me.
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Your buddy,
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SacredH

Daddy, this was more fun last year in the White House. Why aren’t we in the White House, daddy?

Ugh sorry to hear that, sacredh.
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The good news is you are okay, you can have a venison dinner, and it was your wife’s car.

It was Blitzen you took out, sacred, wasn’t it?
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I thought so.
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You Verizon fan you…

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

cfukara:
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I agree with Exiled. I’ve never seen anything like that here on the part of Swampland pundits since around the time of the Great Dan Imus Debate – and Joe Klein at the time was leading that charge.
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Since then, Joe Klien has mended his ways, and I’m grateful for that.
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Merry Christmas!

Yar! Yuts! Merry Christmas and Devil Take the Hind Parts!
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Glad you’re alive!

Vesele Vianoce!

Very warm Christmas Greeting to KT, JNS, AS, MS and all those who celebrate Christmas. Seasons Greetings to those who celebrate their own special day. Have just completed step 1: light lunch and sparklers.

Dinner at 5 p.m. Bless you all. Take care.

Simply don’t have the energy tp comment on Tricky Dick. He was a burden that his Mrs who bore her “misfortune” with fortitude.

I’d been thinking about trading it in for the past year. Now I’m doing more than thinking about it. As much damage as it sustained, I can’t believe the airbag didn’t deploy. I’m really glad it didn’t. I was going around a sharp turn when it ran out of the woods. Since I didn’t get hurt I’m just going to consider it another Christmas gift. For years I’ve been the only guy at work that hadn’t had an accident involving a deer. We’re unamimous now.

Tricia: Mommy, why are the mirrors on the wall in here and on the ceiling in your bedroom?

Pat: I like seeing the side of your daddy that the public does.

I’ve seen two and a friend of mine hit a horse that got loose at like 3AM, no way he could see it. We have a lot of deer out here.
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The horse had to be put down, as he rode up the front of the little camry to crush the windshield and his own sternum, as well as both front legs broken.
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It was a sorry sight for both.

Merry Christmas Mates.

53_3: I was driving the wife’s Camry. She wants another one. I called the sheriff as soon as I got to work. The remains of Blitzen were gone when I drove home this morning.

http://michaelfury.wordpress.com/2009/11/19/suffer-the-little-children/

Merry Christmas to you.

Ms. T,

There was an attempted terrorist attack by a Nigerian yesterday.

I have been writing and warning about the inevitability of this sort of attack on a broader scale by a new breed of Network Savvy, US and European based criminals, the new Nigerian criminals who will do anything to score a buck…mercenaries, desperate and vicious criminals. (I am of Nigerian extraction).

While the thrust of my writings on this matter have been in reference to the particular attacks I have personally been subjected by these felons, my research shows their acts are far broader and more vicious than can be imagined. These people should be investigated, prosecuted and incarcerated. Many are Terrorists.

Hopefully, a reporter who does not limit themselves to online research (which can be and has been extensively fabricated by these crooks) and phone calls (which without real time one on one research and inquiry are not dependable) will be able to wade through the morass which is the growing and exploding criminality and viciousness of the “new and improved” Fraudster who has will continue to be real and growing threats to our National Security.

LM

http://theblindspotsofgod.wordpress.com/2009/12/20/technology-savvy-nigerian-criminals-are-the-greatest-threat-to-national-security/

From a long time Swamper joyomama via Twitter New “12 beautiful real women” church fundraiser calendar

http://tinyurl.com/yad77jh

Great New Year’s gift for feisty women!

Our own calendar girl.

She’s the gift that keeps on giving.
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Well since Kwaanza was only recently fabricated(the’70′s) by a convicted felon sitting in a jail cell, I guess the richness of it’s history isn’t quite known yet.

Twas the night after Christmas
And all through the house
Not a new thread was stirring
I must be a grouch

They tossed you a bone, sacred. Happy Hangover.

” … was only recently fabricated ..”
Well.
“christmas” was not celebrated in the year 1 AD.
Or year 100 AD.
Would you rather jump onto the bandwagon that others have prepared for you?
Apparently you don’t want to incunbate the idea. You don’t want to put in the marketing effort.
Is the concept underlying ‘Kwanzaa’ worthy?
Can’t you at least encourage those who want to?
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” .. by a convicted felon sitting in a jail cell, ..”

Well.
And that creep whose birth you celebrate at Christmas was convicted and hanged. Right?
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[There were two convicts. One convict sat in jail thinking about transcended stuff that can save and benefit his people and mankind. Another convicted, hitherto-pompous flower-child spent his last night cowering, wailing and beseeching imaginary spirits to save him from his fate. At the appointed time, he met his fate. Chose your favourite myth.]

We celebrate the concepts, the teachings and the myths. In fact, if you take a closer critical look at the lives led by our celebrated American heroes and presidents, they come up as far less savoury of characters ..

Blessings
On This Second Day of Kwanzaa!

Thanks 53_3: I’m not much of a drinker. Mudslides mixed with milk is pretty much it for me anymore. I don’t even remember the last time I had a hangover. I think this is the 1st day since before Thanksgiving that I don’t have to go anywhere or do something. The insurance adjuster is coming tomorrow and that’s the only thing for tomorrow on my plate too. I got a 12 megapixel camera for Christmas so I might play with it later on this evening.

Several million Americans celebrate Kwanzaa – a number that is comparable to those who celebrate certain obsevances that the TIME bloggers embrace.

I wondered why these faux-enlightened bloggers at TIME wouldn’t say anything about – leave eben mentioning – about Kwanzaa (other than occassionally wondering, nay dreading that it may get a nod of official recognition. .. And thus it came to pass that lest he antagonizes his oh-so-powerful, controlling judeo-handlers, the leader wouldn’t.

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Would members of groups that have survived, succeeded and flourished in the ultra-racist American environment (such as the Hispanics, Jews, Polish and Italians) have qualms about celebrating what is recognized as their own – regardless of their individual misgivings or what their powerful media and/or christian KKK detractors say?

(After the 4 or 8 years of the Obama presidency then what? And thus it happened that in the year 2009, yet another sterling oppportunity came for the African Americans to also commit and re-dedicate themselves to their citizenship in America – proudly, unashamedly – and it passed them by ..)

I listened to A Motown Christmas several times over the holidays. Nothing by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. I’m covered.

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