1,000 Words: Do-It-Yourselfer Edition

Remeber, if you are not completely satisfied, you may return your Chief Executive for a full cash refund. Certain Restrictions Apply,

I’m going to need that new house 4 years earlier than I thought.

Maybe BHO is there to discuss this “public option”-

“To keep customers coming back, retailers try everything from store-issued credit cards to loyalty cards that get punched with every purchase. Now the Home Depot is going one better. It’s treating its most faithful shoppers–plumbers, electricians, small-home builders and contractors–almost like employees. These customers can now have their businesses’ payroll, credit-card processing and personnel paperwork done through Home Depot. They can get their mobile phones and shipping services through Home Depot (nyse: HD – news – people ). Most notably, they can sign up for health insurance through Home Depot.”

http://www.forbes.com/forbes/2006/0918/062b.html

Stocking up on duct tape and plastic sheeting, Mr. President?

http://michaelfury.wordpress.com/2009/03/10/culture-of-deception/

Obambi: “Ok, now which aisle did they say they put the signs that say ‘Mission Accomplished’?
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Secret Service: “I am not sure Mr President, but you know we can’t get all those Greek columns in the trunk you want to also put up with it”.

KT was Joe K speaking for himself here? It reads as if he is speaking for Swampland-

“I’ve noticed that the asterisks are beginning to proliferate in a number of comments. I find them boring and not conducive to intelligent discourse. (The same can be said about self-serving blog links and long, long posts.) It may be time for us to review our policy on commenting, which more than a few of our readers find appallingly injudicious.
We’ve allowed a fair amount of freedom here in Swampland for several years, but freedom can be abused and destroyed. Don’t mess with it…and take your puerile anger down to the gym or the local park, go for a run, exhale.”

Global Warning? I don’t care about no stinkin global warming. That’s for the little people to worry about.

Sorry free, wrong party. You confusing the party of “no” with the party that used to care about people more than corporations. Now they are just the R and D part of the Corporate Party which controls government until we get rid of that stupid SCOTUS ruling that corporations are people.

If they are people, than tax them like “people”.

Yes that explains the private planes everywhere, the fleet of limos for every inconsequential meeting, keeping the WH thermostat at 82 (because he likes it warm) while telling everyone else you need to sacrifice.

They could not keep up with limo demand in Copenhagen for all those caring left environmentalists. And I notice the bare minimum of coverage to the rioting left wing nuts there. Nothing like the continued trumped up coverage of perceived violence by the Tea Party folks. I guess when your cause is pure and noble (ok I just threw up in my mouth a little) the means are of little consequence.

And that is the lefts answer to everything “tax them”

Um, the playground swing broke?

In a manual for the super-rich, Mr. Manners illustrates that stepping out of a limo wearing a well-cut suit is sometimes inappropriate.

The Constant Weader at http://www.RealityChex.com

Where are the rubber washers and Stop Leak?

Corollary: but if you must, bodyguards are advisable.

Paul,
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As I noted in that original Klein post, the real irony is that if I started a blog called “Joe Klein Sucks,” it would garner a larger audience than the blog where Joe actually posts.
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Hey… That’s not a bad idea!

Actually, Joe’s insistence on civility is a perfect example of how certain viewpoints can get effectively marginalized with utterly evil results.
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His response to me yesterday follows a similar pattern:
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you’re actually denigrating our military’s efforts to avoid killing civilians?
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Well, no I wasn’t, but by declaring certain thoughts off limits (in this case a comparison between dropping ordinance on civilian areas and engaging in serial murder) he’s effectively trying to preclude consideration of the morality of military action. Using well-worn taboos to prevent careful thought he’s effectively trying to shut down debate, not engage in it.

It’s exactly the same problem that arose when Ezra Klein had the audacity to point out that opposing health insurance refom costs lives. He was promptly accused of of calling Joe Lieberman a murderer. People who are uncomfortable with free speech usually are for a reason and it’s never a good one.

Note how you can never</i< find a Home Depot employee when you need one.

Driver
Come on Mr. President!
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POTUS
What’s the hurry? What was that crashing sound in the back?
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Driver
I knocked down the racks in the back. Caught one of the legs with the bumper.
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POTUS
Oh, sh!t! All right! Let’s get out of here before they see us!

” .. freedom can be abused and destroyed. Don’t mess with it…”

And if you do .. then JK’s response depends on how he (selfishly and hence duplicitously) perceives ‘mess’. Consider the ‘freedom to demonstrate’:

If you ‘mess’
- at the Copenhagen talks on global warming;
- in Kenya while freely demonstrating for a ‘loser’ in a Carter-certified free election;
- in Israel while freely demonstating against the commandeering of your Palestinian houses and lands by Israel;
and you are clobbered by the police, JK is not overly bothered. [JK loves those regimes.]

If you ‘mess’
- in the streets of Iran while freely demonstrating for a loser in the election;
- in Zimbabwe while freely demonstrating for a loser in a Carter-certified free election;
and you are clobbered by the police then JK is stridently irate. [JK hates those regimes.]

Do you wonder what “freedom” means to JK? [Hint: High ideals have little to do with it. Try self-interest/ supremacism.]

When the final War was over and Air Force One finally landed back on earth, POTUS was surprised how easy and fast shopping was …

At the lumberyard: POTUS is determined to keep the Salahis out …

Secret Service agents pondering –
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“I don’t get it. There are huge crowds lined up in the parking lot. Why is it so quiet here?”
“Uh…they’re here for the Sarah Palin book signing.”

Obama finally got tired of calling Hillary at 3am asking how fix the WH furnace again, so he decides to buy the parts and tools to do it himself.
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Secret Service agent: “Uh…Mr. President, you can order stuff online, you know.”

Obama got tired of yelling ”Get off my lawn!” to teabag protesters since the scrawny WH cast iron fence failed to keep them out. Therefore, he decided to build a stronger one.

cell phone conversation tapped in:
Michelle: “Honey, did you pick up the garden tools?”
Obama: “I’m at Home Depot now.”
Michelle: “Great. Don’t forget the groceries for Saturday’s state dinner. Make sure to get extra in case the Salahis show up again; Michaele ate all the appetizers last time. And pick up some tampons also.”
Obama: sigh “…yes, dear. Please make sure Desiree invites Karen this time.”

OK, stop sulking now, Mr.President – we’ll let you buy that nail gun.

While Obama is picking up garden tools and the Secret Service agents select gas masks, plastic sheets, and duct tape, Sarah Palin buys the limo from a clueless store employee and drives off in it.

…given tight store return policies everywhere, there was only one way to make sure the new cup holder and bumper sticker removal spray would work. Removing “Palin 2012” and “Show Me the Birth Certificate” stickers gets really old after awhile. Obama himself put on the “Where’s Trig? Who’s Your Mommy?” sticker but Robert Gibbs ordered him to remove it.