1,000 Words: West Point Edition

Thanks, KT!
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As you, KT, sit and relax in the audience ahead of Obama’s speech, Hillary, Gates, and the cadet in charge of WP Social Affairs make final arrangements for Obama to enter the hall presenting YOU with a tray of belated birthday cupcakes to standing room applause before giving his speech.
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Hillary: “Any sign of the Salahis yet?”
Cadet: “Yes, Ma’am. Michaele crashed thru the kitchen and tried to eat all of Ms. Tumulty’s cupcakes. We restrained her but it was a bloody fight, literally.”
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Gates: “Any sign of Tiger Woods? I specifically invited him to join us.”
Cadet: “Yes, Sir, he just arrived. He crashed his Cadillac into one of the campus fire hydrants.”

“Yes, tell Bill I know it is cold in the car. You are the fifth person he has sent to remind me about this. I will be done soon.
I remember when I had to wait all those hours at home thinking he was “working”, I was patient! Sheesh!

Also, tell him this gray haired dude sitting next to me is NOT my boyfriend –he needs to take a better look and ignore the news in that dratted “Enquirer” Mag he is always reading. He is no longer in it anyway!” HAHA

http://theblindspotsofgod.wordpress.com/

I gotta say Ms. Madame Secretary looks quite regal in the pic…now for kicks and giggles

Bob: But Hillary, You said I could take you to the ball
Hillary: Not now Bill, I mean Bob, I’m trying to see what the admiral has to offer

Hillary flirts with the cadet, silently thinking, “if Bill can have Monica and his past transgressions, I too can have my fun. I’ve still got it.”
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Hillary instructs the cadet to track down and deliver to her that blue dress so she can destroy it once and for all.

I posted this last night at MS’s job + bread summit post
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/12/02/victorias-secret-20-layer_n_376969.html
…which explains this exchange…
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Hillary: “Is it here yet? Or delivered to my home?”
Cadet: “Yes, Ma’am. The 55 gal drum of Victoria’s Secret Butt Makeup is being delivered straight to your limo.”
…and Gates looks on, silently thinking, “Whew, I’m glad someone else uses that stuff. I thought I was the only one besides the supermodels.”

KT, you’d better alert the WH and WP academy. This isn’t a pic of Hillary and Gates. They’re actually the Salahis in disguise; oops, they did it again. The real Hillary was restrained at one of the checkpoints and yelling pottymouthed words at the guards for refusing to let her in, thinking she’s an imposter.

Hillary: “Any sign of my husband?”
Cadet: “No Ma’am. He left his regrets and won’t be here, said something about ‘not enough chicks here tonight’. I don’t know what he meant.”
Hillary: “I do.”

So we got the Mother Hen instead.

“when I squeeze my hands together just right it sounds like I’m farting”

There’s a Dennis the Menace caption that comes to mind:

“I don’t think it’s romantic. I think it’s dark!”

Wasn’t that picture taken just before this speech?

KT- Good to see you keeping up the MSM boycot of Climategate. No doubt you won’t write about this just as you boycotted Acorn. Hopefully you will write another slam piece on Sanford though..Cuz that’s more importand don’t ya know.

Cadet: “Uh, Madame Secretary, you’re in the President’s seat.”
Hillary: “Where I belong like I should’ve been from day one, thank you very much.”

Officer (patiently): The Pakistani Taliban’s War on Schoolchildren. Let us promote that as a mitigating reason for killing of kids and women – the unavoidable collateral damage arising from sending more drones that bomb those villages in Pakistan.

Clinton(patiently): Someone in diplomatic circles may bring up the closing of Muslim schools and hijab affairs and the French or American “Christian’s war on schoolchildren”.

Gates: (Grins patiently and thinks): S* diplomacy! Do I have to sit through THIS? Nuke the creeps, already!

FlashForward: this is NOT a pic of Hillary and Gates. This is from the future (photo time tag w/ TIME Savings Time) of Jon and Kate Gosselin calling a truce to attend the last of their kids’ college graduations, this one at West Point. Yes, Kate finally gave up the reverse mullet.

The young cadet clutches the arm rest for support after Secretary of State Clinton explained to him that cougars were meat eaters.

Gates watches with interest as the young cadet pleads for the return of his jingle bobs.

Young man, that’s a very sad story. Now please go and tell somebody that gives a sh!t.

President Clinton asked me to inform you that he won’t be able to meet you after the speech and where did you hide his viagra?

Tiger Woods, trying to hide from the Press, disguises himself as Hillary Clinton.

Secretary Clinton, I know you have my gerbil. Unclasp your hands and let Sparky go.

Mrs. Clinton, your husband just called and said to get your butt home and fix him some pancakes. When shall I tell him you’ll be there?

Secretary Clinton, your services are required at the Gridiron Club. Sarah’s ignoring Todd and Barney Frank isn’t.

…so Hillary has to go take care of Sarah while Todd’s busy?