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Moving Day

By Karen Tumulty | June 12, 2009 | +

Things are likely to be a little quiet here in Swampland today, as we are packing up and moving to a new Washington Bureau. Part of the process is trying to figure out what to take and what to toss. I’m agonizing over things like whether to throw out my notes from the 1996 Bob Dole campaign, or that pamphlet that a Lyndon LaRouche supporter once gave out that was headlined: THE PURE EVIL OF AL GORE. (I never did get around to reading that story inside on “Al Gore and Adolf Hitler.” Or the one on “The Conspirators on Al Gore’s Secret Team.”)

But there are some artifacts that you come to realize are real treasures. Like my favorite press release of all time. It is dated July 19, 1994, and was issued by then-Senator Howell Heflin’s office. That morning, the Senator had been dining in the Capitol with some Alabama reporters, and suddenly felt a sniffle coming on. The reporters were aghast when the Senator reached into his pocket, pulled out a bit of fabric and began to wipe his nose with … a pair of ladies underwear. Hence the following:

STATEMENT OF SEN. HOWELL HEFLIN
HANDKERCHIEF
JULY 19, 1994

I mistakenly picked up a pair of my wife’s white panties and put them in my pocket while I was rushing out the door to go to work.

Rather than take a chance on being embarrassed again, I’m going to start buying colored handkerchiefs.

Yep, that’s one press release that I’m hanging on to.

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  • Paul-no not that one

    Please don’t toss any notes. We KNOW there is a book in you and you may regret getting rid of any of that stuff.
    .
    Good luck with a rotten task KT. Moving is a pain.

  • Jim, Foolish Literalist

    that pamphlet that a Lyndon LaRouche supporter once gave me that was headlined: THE PURE EVIL OF AL GORE.
    *
    I didn’t know Ceci Connelly was a LaRouchie. Though it does explain a lot.

  • somepeoplelikeit

    This doesn’t say much for Mrs. Heflin’s choice of underwear. When I think sexy, “handkerchief” does not come to mind.

  • afguy

    What was that that was said in a thread not long ago about the “balance of power in the Senate was dependent on a comedian”?
    .
    The writer was referring to Al Franken but, from your post, comedians have been in the Senate for a very long time.
    .
    Don’t throw out anything. At the rate things are going, we’re going to be looking back on those times as the “good ol’ days”.

  • http://phd9.blogspot.com Paul Dirks

    Moving is a pain.
    .
    Particularly because its so easy to get distracted by the stuff you find that you haven’t thought about since the last move.
    .
    Good luck.

  • sacredh

    Heflin did not feel a sniffle coming on. He felt the urge to sniff. Way to go Howell.

  • sacredh

    Doesn’t everybody carry a chage of underwear in their pocket?

  • mrtoads

    Well, I wouldn’t throw anything out, but as I’m sure you’re aware if you’ve moved more than once, you probably won’t have to. You have my sympathy; I swore the last 4 times that next time it was going to be the professionals for me. Now I’ve just decided that if the house ever gets sold, I’m included as one of the appliances that goes with it.

  • sacredh

    KT: Keep your notes. I agree with Pnnto, there is a book in you waiting to come out. I look forward to the chapter titled Amy Sullivan: Bible Girl or Holy Terror? This is my gift to you.

  • bensheffner

    Never throw out campaign tchotchkes. You never know how valuable they may turn out to be: http://copyrightsandcampaigns.blogspot.com/2009/01/why-you-should-never-throw-anything.html

    (Make sure to click on the picture for the full effect.)

  • Karen Tumulty

    Have saved the Al Gore for President 1988 button.

  • Art Pepper

    Once upon a time, if you wanted to hear the Dems compared to Hitler, you had to find a LaRouchian. Now it’s a mainstream GOP talking point.
    .
    Good luck with the move!

  • sqr1

    Wasn’t that statement of Heflin’s actually a political home run? I recall there was some more to it:

    STATEMENT OF SEN. HOWELL HEFLIN
    HANDKERCHIEF
    JULY 19, 1994
    [...]
    Let me say, incidentally, that some of you may say, “Well, that is all right, Senator, that is your explanation, but have you got any proof?” And I would like to tell you this evening that just an hour ago we received an independent audit of my wife’s underwear drawer.
    .
    I should say this, that Mrs. Heflin doesn’t have fancy Fredrick’s of Hollywood underwear. But she does have respectable Republican cotton panties, and I always tell her she would look good in anything.
    .
    One other thing I probably should tell you, because if I don’t they will probably be saying this about me, too. We did get something, a gift, after the election.
    .
    A man down in Texas heard Mrs. Heflin on the radio mention the fact that she wanted new undergarments, and, believe it or not, the day before we left on this campaign trip we got a message from Union Station in Baltimore, saying they had a package for us. We went down to get it. You know what it was?
    .
    It was a pair of little panties, in a box that he had sent all the way from Texas, black and white, spotted, and Mrs. Heflin named them Checkers.
    .
    And you know, I, like all good Republican husbands, loved the panties, and I just want to say this, right now, that regardless of what they say about it, we are going to keep them.

  • sqr1

    Once upon a time, if you wanted to hear the Dems compared to Hitler, you had to find a LaRouchian. Now it’s a mainstream GOP talking point.
    .
    In fairness to the GOP, they withdrew their resolution to rename the Democratic Party the Democrat Socialist Party [actually a slur within a slur].

  • FlownOver

    KT:

    The Dole Institute might just be interested in your ’96 campaign notes. Be sure to speak with your tax specialist (not Nixon’s) regarding charitable contribution deductions.

  • kind67

    sqrl, that statement you put out would be funny, except Sen. Heflin was a Democrat.

  • sacredh

    KT: You might be able to start a bidding war between the Dole Institute and Viagra over his campaign notes. Make sure you’re ready when they get serious.

  • http://blogs.ajc.com/political-insider-jim-galloway/2009/06/12/your-weekend-sendoff-why-us-senators-shouldnt-get-dressed-in-the-dark/ Your weekend sendoff: Why U.S. senators shouldn’t get dressed in the dark | Political Insider

    [...] was posted today on Swampland, the bureau’s blog, by Karen Tumulty. She is keeping her favorite press release of all time, [...]

  • jcapan

    “Have saved the Al Gore for President 1988 button.” My first election! Though the bumper sticker on my puke-green Toyota was for Jackson (the first of many of my primary losers).
    ~
    Where are the new digs KT?
    ~
    I imagine Heflin returning home that evening to find his wife holding a revolver. “Howell, honey, I’ve never owned any white panties.”

  • kathy

    Heflin’s lucky the intertubes weren’t in full swing.

  • http://www.ghostnote.com Cookie Puss

    I miss The Judge.

  • http://heartofareadywriter.blogspot.com nickersandink

    Funny. A real HANKY-PANKY, no doubt.

  • Karen Tumulty

    kind67 and sqrl: it’s still funny.
    .
    jcapan: we won’t be in the new digs until monday, which will be UNPACKING day. sigh. new digs are smaller, but my commute is slightly shorter.

  • jcapan

    KT: Was just curious about the address (though I’d not want the nutters to know!)–my dad worked downtown all his life (Interior) so as much as I scorn Versailles I’m also often wistful about it’s plush digs. Fortunately, the units are still in DC metro, so I get my annual nostalgia fix.

  • sacredh

    The reporters were aghast when Heflinn pulled a pair of ladies underwear out of his pocket because they knew his wife never wore them.

  • sacredh

    I still have at least 2 dozens boxes I haven’t unpacked from two moves ago. 26 years and counting. I figured that if I’ve got along without that stuff for this long, I can wait until I retire to go through them.

  • http://blog.locustfork.net/2009/06/13/funniest-political-press-release-of-all-time/ The Locust Fork News-Journal » Blog Archive » Funniest Political Press Release of All Time

    [...] senior writer Karen Tumulty, who writes a column for a blog on the magazine’s Website called Swampland was digging through some old boxes of files while getting ready to move to TIME’s new [...]

  • http://www.thenewwearsoff.com/?p=395 The Heflin Panty Memo | the new wears off

    [...] only Senator I’ve ever shaken hands with is reissuing press releases from beyond the grave: It is dated July 19, 1994, and was issued by then-Senator Howell Heflin’s office. That [...]

  • http://adventuresincardiology.com/ danwalter

    That’s a great story.

  • http://blog.pressking.com/2012/01/25/a-brief-history-of-pr/ A brief history of PR… « The PressKing USA blog

    [...] couple of years ago, Senator Howell Heflin mistook his wife’s panties for a handkerchief. In public. Quite a [...]

  • http://blog.fr.pressking.com/2012/01/25/une-breve-histoire-des-relations-presse/ Une brève histoire des relations presse « Le blog PressKing France

    [...] Le sénateur Howell Heflin confond la culotte de sa femme avec son mouchoir en public (wife’s panties for a handkerchief) [...]

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