Best Congressional Investigation Ever Reveals Hulk Hogan To Be A “Terrible” Wrestler

With no real fanfare, Rep. Henry Waxman, D-Calif., has finished up his investigation of steroids in professional wrestling. (Yep, it’s a problem.) Marc Ambinder, a hopeless fan of the squared circle, has a good write up of some of the highlights and the policy implications.

But the steroid stuff is not really the most interesting part. In his effort to rid the nation of steroid abuse, Waxman has incidentally created a great historical treasure trove, one of the most comprehensive pictures ever produced of the fascinating, exhilarating, often-nasty and always-elusive professional wrestling business. This industry is, it must be said, America’s last great circus, a traveling band of performers with pecs and tights that is televised with huge ratings three times a week on cable, fills untelevised arenas many other nights each week, and attracts millions of dollars in annual pay-per-view revenue. It is “fake” in the way that it is not a sport, like baseball or football. But as a business, as a form of entertainment, and as an athletic drama it often puts real sports leagues to shame.

In recent years, American professional wrestling has been mostly run as a monopoly, under the umbrella of the WWE, which is controlled and operated by Vince McMahon and his family, who often perform at the events. They like to keep the backstage details quiet, by necessity. Like magic, pro-wrestling is about illusion. You never want to reveal more than the trick demands. But Waxman has now laid these details bare, in testimony to Congress, where lies are prosecutable offenses. We learn that the WWE, for instance, employs about 10 writers to develop story lines for the wrestlers. In addition to the writers, a group of “producers,” mostly former wrestlers, travel on the road to help the performers with rough choreography of each match. (Each match needs a beginning, middle and end.) The performers can make anywhere from a few thousand to many hundred thousand dollars, depending on the event. Then there is this, my favorite nugget from what I have read so far–from an interview with Stephanie McMahon, the daughter of Vince and the person in charge of talent relations and creative writing.

Q: How does talent get to become main-event talent?

A: Basically, hard work and perseverance and overwhelming the audience. . . . When someone walks out on that stage, they either connect with the people or they don’t. If you walk out on stage and nobody cares and you don’t have any presence, you are never going to be a main-event guy. But if you walk out and you make the people notice you, you can be a main-event guy. You really don’t even have to be a good wrestler. Hulk Hogan was a terrible wrestler, and he still is.

Q: For the record, I am sure he would disagree with that.

A: I am sure he would disagree with that. I forget this is all public. But, you know, he was. He was a terrible wrestler. But what an incredible psychologist and what an incredible charismatic person. There is no denying Hulk Hogan is one of the biggest stars in the history of our business and will always be perceived as such. But he was not a great wrestler, not a great technician.

Later in the interview, Stephanie McMahon says she regrets saying on the record that Hogan was a bad wrestler. But she elaborates, nonetheless.

When I said Hulk Hogan wasn’t a great wrestler, I didn’t mean he didn’t know how to do the moves, the move technically. He just had three moves. And that is all he did. That is what I meant. It wasn’t an exciting technical display of reversing holds and, you know, multiple different maneuvers. It was a very basic match. Psychologically it worked every time. The crowd got behind Hulk.

Just Stephanie’s interview alone runs 138 pages. All great stuff. The full archive of Waxman’s investigation can be found here.

UPDATE: Ambinder responds to this post, by agreeing with McMahon: Hulk stunk as a wrestler. The Atlantic’s in-house wrestling expert even posts video evidence to prove it: a vintage match between Hogan and Minnesota’s own Jesse “The Body” Ventura.

MORE: Wade Keller, the editor of Pro-Wrestling Torch, who probably learns more about wrestling before lunch before I have gathered in a lifetime, points out correctly that Waxman is not the first to put to paper the mechanics of behind-the-curtain wrestling production, a craft that has been documented in fan publications and wrestler memoirs for years. (Had a McMahon ever knocked Hogan’s wrestling skills in public before?) That said, Waxman’s historical record is still quite astounding, and great reading, and it will be a valuable historical and journalistic reference for years to come.

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  • gysgt213

    What, rassling is fake? Crap.

  • http://pourmecoffee.blogspot.com pourmecoffee
  • cincinnatus est exterminata!

    Pointless drivel natch. GFY Scherer.
    .
    Ron Asheton died today and you’re not gonna say sh!t?
    http://www.aversion.com/news/news_article.cfm?news_id=11938

  • gysgt213

    Imagine if these super powers were used for the good of mankind.

  • newfloridian

    OK someone has to start this blog off.

    First I grew up in the Tampa Florida area. Which was a hot bed of wrestling and where Terry Bollea (Hulk) grew up. (He’s actually a pretty good guy – not perfect just like the rest of us – just a whole lot richer). I wrestled in High School when it had just started here in Florida as a high school sport. We had to schedule Cowboy Luttrel’s wrestling school, which usually had the son’s of professional wrestlers such as Mike Graham (Eddie Graham’s son) Bob Orton Jr. (Bob Orton Sr.’s son) and others. Used to wrestle them at the old Sportatorium in Tampa where they filmed Championship wrestling with Gordon Solie. After the filming we’d get dressed in the same one room locker room with the professional wrestlers. I remember well how the Great Malenko and Eddie Graham has just had a bloody brawl for the TV audience, blood splurting everywhere from razor cuts in the forhead which they worked on before the match. They were going to kill each other in the ring at the Armory that next Saturday night they announced to the crowd. I went in to change after that bloody performance only to find them seated next to each other talking about where they were going to have dinner together in a few days.

    In the old days it was indeed the greatest circus act in the world, filed with great performers who made up their own fueds, were sometimes large- but rarely had the massive builds of today’s wrestlers (except maybe Billy Graham). You didn’t have to be large just be a talented performer who acted the proper role required. They were real professionals who put on a great show without nudity and lef the audience with a sense that what they were seeing was indeed real. They knew how to sell the sizzle!

    Then Vince McMahon came along and screwed up wrestling. Encouraged the wrestlers to get big (many have died because of it) looked the other way when drugs got a foothold on the performers (many of them died because of it), and basically ran wrestling into the toilet with borderline sex shows, stupid plots and got his whole family involved in the performance. It’s become almost an unwatchable farce with horrible plot lines and dark characters that all seem to be copies of each other.

    Stephanie was not even an an adult when Hulk started wrestling. The guy she knows and you’ve seen over the past 15 years has bad knees, a hip replacement (I believe) , and many other injuries that inhibit his actions. In the early days he was very good, a very athletic and skilled wrestler. The McMahons and Hulk are not always on good terms so it doesn’t surprise me she’s talking him down.

    Stephanie McMahon is where she is because she’s a member of the “lucky sperm club.” She is not one that should be talking about other people’s abilities or skills because she is quite deficient in that area. The best thing that might happen is we find the McMahons lied during some of their testimony and wind up out of the wrestling business.

  • kbanginmotown

    I was waiting for the segue to how Blogo and Burris tag-teamed and splashed Reid to the mat…
    .
    Perhaps the reason there was “no real fanfare” was that there was “no real story” or, perhaps, more important things going on in the world…
    .
    Sorry. I guess if JNS can post about SG Gupta, you should be able to call and raise her.
    .
    K-Tum..? K-Tum..?!?

  • Cliff

    Whatever. You only need three moves: Fake punch (with coordinated stomp), bounce off the ropes, suplex.
    .
    I’d include “head smash with folding chair” but any old douchebag can do that.

  • Mr. Nice Guy

    I remember watching Ric Flair and Eddie Valentine – my fav tag team – on Sunday mornings when I was a kid. Couldn’t use anything they did in wrestling practice, but it was fun to watch. Until I hit that age when kids start to wonder if Santa is real, too.

    I can’t believe Flair is still out there, puttering around. For real old guys wrestling, check out http://www.silverbackswrestling.com.

  • http://smoothlikeremy.blogspot.com/ sgwhiteinfla

    Say what you will but Stephanie McMahon was right. I don’t think I ever saw Hulk Hogan even do a drop kick which is standard fair for most wrasslers. He had the one foot to the face kick, the big leg drop and maybe a body slam. But having said that he isn’t the only big star who was limited. I mean how many moves did Stone Cold Steve Austin have? What about somebody old school like Rick Flair? Figure Four leg lock and some punches? The new breed of wrasslers usually have a more complete repetoire of moves, counter moves and finishing moves. But unfortunately WWE has become so cartoonish that even better moves hasn’t helped the company. Don’t get me wrong they are still making money hand over fist and my son has more WWE shirt than I could ever justify. But wrassling fans used to be fans for life. I remember my Grandmother didn’t miss a Sunday of watching Mid South wrassling on Tee Vee. But now adays the WWE might have a fan until their late 20s but after that most people have moved on. If we want to watch soft porn cable has plenty of better selections. If we want to watch great moves we can watch the UFC. But wrasslin used to be about somewhat realistic personas and bigger than life personalities. Thats what McMahon has sacrificed in the name of better moves. There is a reason why they were still paying Ric Flair to wrassle up until last year and why the Undertaker is still one of their biggest draws.
    .
    Yeah I know I am a wrasslin nerd but I am not ashamed lol

  • Dee in Columbia MD

    Didn’t there used to be a guy with a parrot?

  • Cliff

    If we want to watch soft porn cable has plenty of better selections. If we want to watch great moves we can watch the UFC.
    .
    I know I’m not the first person to point this out, but UFC probably counts as soft porn for, ah, certain segments of the population.

  • newfloridian

    Wrestling nerds unite!

    Have to diasgree with you sgwhiteinfla on Hulk. In the early days he did the whole bag of tricks. But as time wore on and he was wrestling many many nights a month, the choreography got simpler because hey you can’t keep it up night after night, the easy moves became the standard fare. Wrestling got ot the point that if the top flight guy got down and dirty with the common folk wrestlers too much (too many common moves) he lost that air of invinciability, he had to appear to exhert just the minimum force and effort necessary to win the match, beause after all he was the top guy!

    In the old days 50′s 60′s there were blood baths, and everyone worked hard because everyone was pretty much average build. The shows were less extreme, usually less risky (except for the razor cut foreheads and generally no slamming with metal chairs and throwing them down on tables)and the guys were more limber and less muscle heavy so they didn’t injure themselves as easily. Sometimes the greatest danger they faced were the grandmas in the audience with the hat pins they’d use on the bad guy if he walked by.

    Remember going down to the St. Pete armory many a Saturday night with other members of the high school wrestling team and rooting for the bad guys all night. Back then many of the audience members thought it all was real. They’d be screaming at us by the end of the nnight… but Lord it was such fun.

  • http://smoothlikeremy.blogspot.com/ sgwhiteinfla

    newfloridian
    .
    I remember Hulk Hogan coming to Memphis and getting his ass kicked by our “hero” Jerry “The King” Lawler. Now if you ever wanted to see a one trick pony it was Lawler. His finishing move for years and years and years was just punching a dude senseless. And he was as badly built as you could get away with without technically being a fat ass. But we loved him in Memphis for decades because regardless of how many moves he had he knew how ot move the crowd. When you say the whole bag of tricks what do you mean? I never saw him do any kind of leg lock, any kind of sleeper/choke holds, any kind of off the top rope moves, no drop kicks. Don’t get me wrong there weren’t many guys who did it all back then either. Come to think of it most cats were either high flyers who did none of the power moves or power guys who didn’t do high flying moves. You had a couple of exceptions like the Undertaker but they were few and far in between. But now adays you have cats who do it all.
    .
    All except actually shoot on other guys in interviews where you really really feel emotionally attached about whether or not they can back up their words. Now a days you got wrasslers who can give a diatribe for 15 minutes and nobody even give a sh!t afterward. Besides that you don’t have the “patriotic” matches like you used to. If everything going on today was happening in the 70s/80s I can guarantee you that there would be an “Iranian Sheik” type guy as a heel in wrassling or a “over the top redneck” type guy talking ish about Obama. Now adays its just lame ass story line after lame ass story line interspersed with T and A.
    .
    I understand your loyalty and admiration for Hulk Hogan, before he went all NWA in the WCW I would have been right with you but I never ever never saw him do the stuff these cats are doing today in the ring. Maybe I just didn’t see it but I never even saw the potential for him to do a drop kick so I would have to see it on youtube or something to believe it.

  • michaelscherer

    who knew that all the Swampland commenters were wrasslin fans?

  • Andy from MA

    MS I can’t relate to rasslin’, but I will say that there is real passion in your writing here. Good post…

  • dumdedumdum

    The sections in Bob Dylan’s book of memoirs has some wrasslin’ sections, about young Dylan playing music at a big travelling wrasslin’ shindig headlined by Georgeous George, who said nice things (we are told) to young Zimmerman.

    as for Hogan’s qualifications — he’s telegenic. But being a wrasslin’ star doesn’t mean you know anything about wrasslin’, because Hogan as wrasslin’ star was basically a mechanic whose most important skill was growing a big moustache.

  • carotexas1

    My brother and I loved to watch Gorgeous George when we were young.
    I think they were old shows when we watched but a lot of fun and he was a terrific showman.
    http://www.wrestlingmuseum.com/pages/bios/halloffame/georgebio.html

  • Mr. Nice Guy

    As a point of fact, Flair won a state championship in high school, which is no mean feat – except maybe in NY, after the division split, but don’t get me started on that… – so the guy _does_ know some real wrestling. Bob Backlund wrestled for North Dakota State, and the Steiner brothers were from, I think, Michigan. I remember Backlund throwing in some moves that they’d call “technical” during the matches, but any amateur would recognize them as simple escapes, duck-unders, reversals, etc. Oh, and Kurt Angle, of course, was an Olympic champion, and I hear he still helps out his mat brothers on the classic side of the fence.

  • kbanginmotown

    Criminy! I take back comment #5. While WWE(F?)(G?) rasslin’ doesn’t float my boat, apparently this post was just what the Swamp needed!
    .
    Michael: Good job! (Even if your comment #14 belies that you didn’t know you’d struck gold.)
    .
    C’mon, let’s hear it, Michael: do you have a rasslin’ memory that can top the beautiful missives from newfloridian’s and sg’s childhoods?

  • michaelscherer

    the first long magazine story I ever got published was about a night clerk who worked at the 7/11 in Easthampton, Mass., whose only dream was to become a professional rassler. Reporting the story took me backstage to a WWF (as it was called then) match, and to a school for pro wrestlers in New Bedford. (It had once been a boxing gym, but then one day someone stole all the boxing equipment.) I am not much of a wrestling fan, and I somehow missed it mostly in my childhood, but that story remains one of my favorites.

  • formerlyjames

    pourme #2, I have a piece of OU red jersey that I tore off of Wahoo McDaniel after a game many years ago. I was about 11 and they wore tear-away jerseys, it was like tearing paper towel. They had won the game (as always then) and he thought it was funny.

  • formerlyjames

    I think this is a lame blog, but while I am at it, I was looking up McDaniel on Wiki and see that Big Daddy Bush coached him in little league in Midland. I have respect for Big, and nothing but contempt for his little boy. So this lame blog did spark my interest after all.

  • jose

    I hope everybody here realizes that any hope of your being taken seriously from this point on is pretty much forget about it. This includes you too, MS. Of course this is in the dead of night. Perhaps the sheriffs won’t be watching.

  • Mr. Nice Guy

    Well, jose, I guess that puts us on par with John Conyers, bitching about Reid not releasing tapes when so many other issues are overlooked. Fiddling while Rome burns, if you will.

  • Mr. Nice Guy

    Whoa! Moderation still works. I got stuck in the penalty box for “b.tching.” Hey, MS, can you fish that one out for me? Thanks…

  • g_crush
  • g_crush

    .
    Gah. It’s late and I have no preview…apologies for the missing close tag.

  • jcapan

    Thank god it’s sake hour in the land of rising yen. To be added to something I coughed out one of Amy’s posts:
    -
    1 on WRESTLING!? I knew it was too good to last Scherer-san
    -
    Posts on pg. 1:
    -
    3 on Blago
    1 on a Plumber
    1 on J. Wright
    1 on Obama as a food critic
    1 on airline discrimination
    -
    Dare I say it!? Michael Scherer (along with Joe) is the only person addressing anything of substance of late. Post-election, I knew it was going to get bad, but JFC people–you’re making me miss AMC’s depth!

  • http://pourmecoffee.blogspot.com pourmecoffee

    @formerlyjames – I grew up in the region where Mid-Atlantic Championship Wrestling (MACW) was a MONSTER. I was a snot-nosed smartypants, but you could enjoy MACW straight-up, or with mocking. By the time it was all over, I think I was digging it straight-up. Before political correctness, I liked how they had a flat-out stereotype for every group: someone you could hate and see get a chair put upside their head. At the height of the cold war, the Koloff Brothers got their Russkie ass kicked nicely. Wahoo was just the man. While Flair was talking all this crazy sh*t, he was real quiet like Chief Bromden in Cuckoo’s Nest. The headdress was so sweet. He was like a badass peacock. Long live MACW!

  • plukasiak

    Guess who is on the WWE Board?

    Lowell Weicher. Yeah, THAT Lowell Weicher.

    http://oversight.house.gov/documents/20081231140914.pdf page 10

  • http://smoothlikeremy.blogspot.com/ sgwhiteinfla

    Let me say something. If you grew up as a boy and didn’t love wrasslin then either you were missing out or you were a lame. Wrasslin wasn’t then what it is now and I would never be interested to shell out money to go see WWE now. But back in the day when it was still “real” and they had storylines better than any soap opera I would have given anything to go see it in person. The heels back in those times were as larger than life as the baby faces. The Iran Sheik, the Koloff Brothers, the Four Horseman with Ric Flair, Sgt Slaughter when he was the bad guy, Legion of Doom/Road Warriors, Million Dollar Man, Andre the Giant, the Great Kamala….and on and on. They were so good at being bad that you had, just had, to cheer for truth and justice and dare I say it, the American way. Wrasslin made patriotism cool and fun back in the day. But now adays the lines are so blurred, a guy you were cheering for last week will be a heel this week.
    .
    I find the same thing with cartoons my kids watch. Its so hard to find stark differences between good guys and bad guys on Tee Vee now adays and as crazy as it sounds I really think that has an effect on the younger generation. I grew up with GI Joe which gave a moral statement after each episode, something to teach you a lesson. My kids are growing up with boogers and fart jokes on their cartoons most of which never make a distinction between right and wrong. Its nuts.

  • http://pourmecoffee.blogspot.com pourmecoffee

    @sgw – We’ve discussed this before, but it BEARS REPEATING. That’s right, he’s going to throw a fish at you. Deal with it.

  • newfloridian

    It’s a new day and we are still talking wrestling, at least the old wrestling! WOW!

    Back in the 50′s and 60′s the great thing was wrestlers could be a bad guy up north and a good guy down here. Now days they have to have a personality change or some other lame excuse to become the opposite of who they are on stage. The world of communications no longer allows such weekly transformations. But in the old days Eddie Graham who was a good guy in Florida could fly up north and join his brother Billy and be the dasterdly Graham brothers and then fly back at the end of the week and once gain become the good guy by the end of the week.

    sgwhiteinfla: No I’m not actually a Hulk fan. Just a fan of the old sport, not today’s wrestling. can’t even watch it today it is so bad.

    Loved some of the old guys like Jerry Lawler, The Shiek, Haystacks Calhoun, Johnny Valentine, especially Fred Blassie, The Great Malenko and Rick Flair.

    Today’s guys are forced to do some really dangerous performances and if they don’t they disappear. Yeah they do it all, or at least try to do it all, but they really suffer physically. That is why so many now retire early. The really need to get it away from the McMahons they are users of the 10th degree. I really think it’s only a matter of time before they start tying in the steroid use, drug use and the McMahons into something that can take them down.

  • http://www.loquaciousmusic.com Ben

    As far as I know, Bob Mould (former lead singer/guitarist of Hüsker Dü and Sugar) wrote for WWF for a while.

    Let’s check the Google…

    Yup!

    http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9D02EEDA113DF933A25751C0A9649C8B63

  • alaskanturkey

    Anything good in the testimony about Steve Austin or the Rock? I always wondered if the Rock’s boob reduction was due to genetics or steroids…

  • michaelscherer

    there is a lot about stone cold in the stephanie mcmahon interview.

  • Andy from MA

    I remembered this story when I lived in Portland, Maine several years ago about a Jewish gallery owner, who secretly was a professional rassler. I guess if Lowell Weicker can be on the board of WWE, Rob elowitch of Barridoff Galleries can be a professional wrestler. It crosses all cultural and socioeconomic groups.
    .
    http://www.robbieellis.com/rob.html

  • virginiagentleman

    Mike, great post and you nailed it when you described pro wrestling as “America’s last great circus.” At its best, it’s great lowbrow entertainment. It’s ironic that Stephanie McMahon was questioned about Hogan becoming a star even though he was a terrible wrestler because the general opinion among fans is that Triple H has maintained his status as a WWE headliner because he’s married to….Stephanie McMahon.

    This testimony would be interesting reading to see if it indicates what wrestlers are doing now to get bigger. They’ve always been at the head of the curve with this stuff.

    I had a chance to talk to a wrestler who had just joined Vince McMahon’s company and knew that McMahon favored the big, muscular dudes. I hinted that this meant they were doing steroids and he said no, they had moved beyond that and were doing human growth hormones. The kicker is, I spoke to him in 1989. God knows what they’re doing now.

  • hold2file

    What a fracking waste of time and effort.

    The people who are “into” this “sport” also fail to realize the “ritualized cannibalism” inherent in Christianity and likely STILL believe there are Weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq.

    They deserve their own stupidity.

  • newfloridian

    hold2file: Thanks for your loving comments. No we don;t think there were any weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. Most of us posting here are progessives, liberals or just middle of the roaders. You confuse your audiences!

    As far as the cannibalism comment very intriguing. As ai frecall, not being a good church going individual communion is only practiced in Catholic related churches. Baptists and Protestants do not qualify as cannibals. No wonder Cathlic girls always go so well with honey!

    Most of us here are far from stupid, as you call us. We recognize wrestling is entertainment, a theatrical performance of good versus evil at least it was before McMahon got a hold of it and turned it into an unwatchable show. It’s like going to a B movie and enjoying yourself. I suggest you consider surgery for that pole up your hind quarter and learn to let your hair down once in a while. No wrestling isn’t for everyone. Today it’s a waste of time for everyone. There just are many here on Swampland who remember what it once was

  • newfloridian

    Please excuse gramatics on my #40 post. Cathlic girls should be Catholic girls, but you probably get the meaning.

    I am sitting her in Panera bread with a computer on my lap and it is really tough to type coherantly.

    GO GATORS!!!!!!!!

  • FlownOver

    Glad MS finally got around to covering things that matter. Next up, hula hoops (wait… what? Amy already did that? Really?) OK, then, American Idol!
    .
    Seriously people, pro wrestling should be a guilty pleasure at best. Show a little contrition when you’re displaying such detailed knowledge of an entertainment appealing to fans with both IQ’s and teeth counts in the single digits.
    .
    and floridian – my hindquarters are my own business, thank you very much.

  • http://smoothlikeremy.blogspot.com/ sgwhiteinfla

    FlownOver
    .
    Honestly man if you read the thread most of us are reliving our childhood/teenage years. Its funny how wrassling makes folks act all “grown up” and bougouise when the subject comes up. Its gotta be only hicks and idiots who like wrasslin right? Wrong. If “Grown Ups” can watch Oprah, soap operas, American Idol, and or Desperate Housewives “Grown Ups” should also be able to watch wrasslin. I don’t anymore but it has more to do with the genre falling off than me being more mature.

  • http://pourmecoffee.blogspot.com pourmecoffee

    Seriously people, pro wrestling should be a guilty pleasure at best.

    Evaluating the validity of other’s pleasure should be a capital crime.

  • FlownOver

    OK, then – off with my head. If the alternatives are “watch[ing] Oprah, soap operas, American Idol, and or Desperate Housewives,” I guess it’s a far, far better place that I go to…

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  • newfloridian

    Stephanie McMahon has a credibility problem since she is married to Triple H who maintains a headliner position because he bonking Stephanie as her husband. Maybe the questions asked should have been related to how often are you helping to administer human growth hormane or steriods to your husband?

    Wrestling was fun when it was wrestling. And it sure was fun watching the rednecks and grannies go all ape crap over the bad guy beating the heck out of the good guy. It’s somewhat akin to this past political season when the McCain and Palin camps were battling over who said when and when. Hey, someone tell the Palins and Levi there’s a place for them in the WWF. They’ll make great money and come 2012 Sarah the Impaler will still get the same amount of votes running for President from the same rednecks she would have if she’d remained Governor of Alaska.

  • newfloridian

    Damn fingers that’s hormones.

  • http://davidbix.wordpress.com/ davidbix

    FlownOver (and others who posted similar things), what do hula hoops and American Idol have to do with people dying of steroid abuse that WWE requires of most of its performers (male and female) if they want to make top level money? Last I checked, executives at Wham-o and Simon Cowell aren’t muscle fetishists who try to mentally break down their subordinates (sometimes publicly) so they abuse dangerous drugs.

    But hey, it’s just pro wrestling! It’s a fake sport that strives to be low-brow. If anything’s related to it then it can’t be important, even if people are dying at an alarming rate. If the same percentage of MLB players, NFL players (REAL! athletes), major label musicians, or name actors (REAL! stars) died young, then Congress should do something! But not the fake wrestlers, they don’t count. They’re not real people.

  • 53_3

    MS:
    .
    Even I draw the line here. These things are for law enforcement to handle. I’m fairly liberal on social issues, but Waxman is putting on a little less shiny a wax job on this one.
    .
    Am I wrong for saying that there actually are some things out government should stay out of the business of?
    .
    Imagine:
    .
    Congress voting on the outcome of the MLB World Series game seven, because certain, kaff, kaff, senators didn’t like the outcome.
    .
    Imagine the pork getting attached to that bill…

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