But What If It Has a Good Beat and You Can Dance to It?

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The various bias-hunters on both sides the blogosphere are generally useful, if a tad alarmist. If nothing else, they’re like an early-warning system for fake outrage (or: tomorrow’s Howie Kurtz column, today!). One thing I’ll give Media Matters over NewsBusters, though: MM has never taken their earnest and literal approach to detecting political intent in the news and tried to apply it to, you know, art.

Posted at around five this morning (which makes me want to believe it’s the product of some kind of meth-and-Doritos rage binge): “The Eagles New Album: Slamming America Throughout.” In a Talmudic close examination of the lyrics, the post’s author, Warner Todd Huston, finds numerous nuggets of liberal thoughtcrime (including global warming fearmonging, anti-religious zealotry and — an oldie but a goodie — betraying the troops).

One marvels at the amount of energy expended on deconstructing the Eagles’ songwriting skills when you could easily just point out that they suck. (On the plus side, it’s probably the most work anyone’s put into an Eagles review in years.) But their schlocky descent into musical self-parody isn’t the point for Huston. According to him, the Eagles have committed a cultural violation that outweighs their formulaic post-Boomer MadLibs approach to rock and roll: They have, in his words, “completely forgotten 9/11.”

See, it’s not just that they wrote about global warming that’s the problem, it’s also what they didn’t write about:

Not a word about Islamofascists trying to blow us all up, though. Nothing about bin Laddenists cutting off people’s heads, women being stoned, young girls being murdered with “honor killings,” or homosexuals being summarily executed from our pals the Eagles!

It is worth reading, as they say, the whole thing. But if you need a quick summary, well… Shorter Warren Todd Huston: “Comrades do not understand that the purpose of art is to glorify the Five Year Plan.”