Wither the Values Voter? Making Up Insane Alternate Lyrics to Patriotic Songs, That’s Where Wither!

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It’s a sad day for the GOP when their most-covered sop to values voters stems from a bit of cell phone pantomime and not an attempt to engage with, you know, actual values voters. As other outlets have reported, Alan Keyes headlined last week’s “Values Voter” debate (they gave him his own podium!), the highlight of which appeared to be this totally awesome re-written version of “God Bless America,” complete a plea to bring the apocalypse upon us! The terrorists truly have won, after all!

Why should God bless America?

Shes’s forgotten he exists

And has turned her back on everything

That made her what she is

Why should God stand beside her

Through the night with the light from his hand?

God have mercy on America

Forgive her sins and heal our land

I know a lot evangelicals (including George Bush!) might say Irving Berlin is already in hell, but if he isn’t, upon hearing this, his afterlife would surely become one.

Amazing video here:

Sorry I’m late getting to this. There were meaningless straw polls to cover!

UPDATE: Ahmedinajad just said that Iran has no homosexuals, which should come as a surprise to whomever does Ahmy’s FANTASTIC hair! Also, I think the values voters might be jealous.