Daily Jumble: Poison Toy-Free Edition

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A reminder: The Jumble is a list of the shiny news-like objects that have caught my eye. Please feel free to crow about your finds in the comments.

• Unstoppable force meets immovable object? “On Wednesday, secret documents that purportedly chronicle parts of the governments’ secret warrantless spying on Americans’ communications will collide with… the state secrets privilege — whose invocation virtually forces judges to disappear lawsuits into the memory hole once the government says a lawsuit involves national security.” [Threat Level]

• Fox News: Fair and balanced Paranoid and vindictive. On Wikipedia, FNS IP addresses transformed Olbermann into a blogosphere whipping boy and edited Chris Wallace into a paragon of objective journalism. [Geeks Are Sexy]

• Denny “Jabba” Hastert expected to retire, possibly to be replaced by “ice cream mogul” Jim Oberweis. Hastert’s timing was never very good. [Sun-Times]

• Lindsey “Graham — an Air Force Reserve JAG officer — was dressed in his desert khaki uniform, and — here’s the fun part — armed with a 9mm Beretta pistol in a shoulder holster.” Yeah, the fun part! [National Review Online]

• “It doesn’t rank among the Top Two Million Reasons You Wish 9-11 Ever Happened, but coming in at, let’s say, Reason #4,563,239 is this: I would have liked to see what Rove would have done in 2004 with an incumbent best known for a failed economy, moribund job growth, and his oh-so-brilliant handling of the Hainan Island Spy Plane Incident.” [DCiever]

• Headlines we have loved: “Question of Sons’ Choices Dogs Romney Campaign” Somewhere, the ghost of Seamus smiles. [NYT]

• Those fired US Attorneys sure are lucky Gonzales didn’t have control over the death penalty six months ago! [WP]

• “As TPM Reader DC puts it, Giuliani combines Bush’s foreign policy genius with Clinton’s sexual impulse control.” [TPM]

• Proof that Mitt Romney does not under the concept of a “strike”: Romney calls for “‘One-Strike’ Laws for Online Sex Predators.” Heaven help us if he decides to start calling balls. (Last joke courtesy of SwampHusband.) [WP]

• Obama says he can bring nation together more “effectively” than Hillary. True: Only 50 percent of the country will never vote for her. Get that up to 70 or 80, then you’ve got a united populace. [WP]

• The Straw Poll: The first useless test of the campaign.