Morning Jumble: Seizure-Free Edition

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Sorry for the late posting, but here’s what I skimmed over this morning:

· “The night before the government secured a guilty plea from the manufacturer of the addictive painkiller OxyContin, a senior Justice Department official called the U.S. attorney handling the case and, at the behest of an executive for the drugmaker, urged him to slow down, the prosecutor told the Senate Judiciary Committee yesterday.” I’m sure glad there’s nothing to that fired USAs story!

· “According to this source, Judith became so smitten with the dress she was modeling ‘that she simply didn’t want to take it off. She didn’t offer to pay. She made it very clear she wanted it for free. You know how it is when someone stalls.’ Instead, says this source, Judith kept repeating a kind of mantra: ‘I’m a sample size, I’m a sample size.'” A Giuliani administration would ban both guns and wire hangers

· “‘In the end, we don’t know what we don’t know,’ Kendall told members of the House Natural Resources Committee at a hearing exploring Cheney’s role in the Klamath policy.” Excuse me, I think the proper phrasing is: You only know what Dick Cheney wants you to know. Also: My God, not even the doddering, gullible Grey Ghost of CNN believes him. Lastly: Funny because it’s true.

· Obama lays out a foreign policy plan. Surprisingly muscular! He was an international relations major, you know.

· Adam Nagourney discovers the internets! The Edwards campaign breaks new cyberground in the use of a “website” to “gather signatures”! And Elizabeth has been “posting messages on the Internet since before there were blogs”! Can you even imagine such a dark age? Where did people go for their sputtering outrage and groupthink, not to mention discount Viagra ads and upskirt shots? (Maybe Adam Nagourney knows! He’s discovered the internets a lot!)

· Rumsfeld at Tillman hearing.

· John Hodgeman explains teh cleavage!!!

Wanna point anything else out?