The Stick, on the other hand, would NEVER lead us astray. Oh, wait…
UPDATE: This is what “Kelly Bear” has in store for our sweet innocents:
Kelly Bear Teaches About Secret Touching
Children learn the difference between “good touch,” “bad touch,” and “secret touch” in a sensitive, reassuring way. By observing children being assertive, they learn how to protect themselves. Two themes are emphasized: if a “secret touch” happens, the child needs to tell a trusted adult, and secret touching is not the child’s fault. The original songs include “Looking in the Mirror,” an upbeat, self-acceptance song, “Secret Touch,” and “Don’t Be Afraid.”
Tell an adult! Not the child’s fault! He may look non-threatening, but, clearly this is a TROJAN BEAR — fuzzy and soft on the outside, but on the inside a vehicle for sin and corruption.
Also, he is filled with condoms.