Obama: NO TOUCHING!

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This story — or at least it’s shocking headline — is picking up some steam on the blogosphere: “Sex Ed for Kindergarteners ‘Right Thing to Do,’ Says Obama.” In fact, I’m tentatively scheduled to talk about it on “Hannity & Colmes” tonight, all of which makes me feel a little dense about telling the “rival campaign” that first forwarded me the article that I didn’t see how “recycling Alan Keyes talking points is a winning strategy” for them.

It’s not just that the “sex ed for toddlers” is a charge out of crazypants Keyes’s playbook, it’s that the accusation is as inflated and misleading as Drudge’s hot girl-on-girl insinuations about Hillary Clinton. Obama has supported legislation to teach children about “inappropriate touching;” he’s not for handing out cucumbers or bananas or probably even cheetos in show and tell. I imagine that the lessons would be short and involve pointing at a doll and in general be less explicit than a “Suite Life of Zach and Cody” episode.* (And, yes, this is the kind of thing you’d ideally want parents to deal with, but it’s not crossing a line for a teacher to deal with it — it’s teachers, after all, who are generally in the position to report signs of abuse; wouldn’t it be nice if they could stop it before it starts?)

Heck, the Christian Broadcasting Network political columnist thinks the “controversy” is overblown.

There is, you know, a reason why Keyes lost.

UPDATE: The Obama campaign reminds me that if their candidate seems skeevy, then just look at the United Church of Christ!

United Church Of Christ Promotes A Sexual Education Curriculum For Kindergartners That Focuses On Helping Children Identify and Avoid Sexual Abuse. “Our Whole Lives K-1 supports parents, teachers and pastors in educating children about birth and sexuality. The program affirms all kinds of families and helps children identify and avoid sexual abuse. Activities include stories, songs, arts and crafts.”

CRAFTS! Pervs.

*I’m not kidding about that sketchy Disney show. See “Act Four” here.