7:59PM: LIEBERMAN is there. At the right debate at least.
8:04PM: “If I determine a rebuttal is necessary…” Best line of the night; Matthews only thinks HIS rebuttal is necessary.
8:04PM: Who thought Matthews would be the FIRST one to invoke Reagan? Drink drink drink!
8:05PM: Rudy somehow ties “Reagan’s optimism” with “the war on terror.” Drink.
8:06PM: McCain seems angry. Prematurely. Premature angrylation. He also just quoted his own stump speech, somewhat haltingly.
8:07PM: Tommy Thompson and his GIANT EARS OF JUSTICE.
8:08PM: Duncan Hunter: “The key to winning in Iraq is standing up the Iraqi military.” No, then they’ll just get mad and not put out.
8:09PM: Not fond of the walking across the stage to hand-deliver the emailed questions. Also, what the f*** did Romney just say? “If we wanted a President who just followed the polls, all we’d need to do is plug in our TVs have them run the country”? What? TVs follow polls? Our polls think we’re gay? Huh? Huh? Extraneous Reagan reference. Drink!
8:10PM: Brownback is wielding a pen. But he’s just kinda holding it. It looks less like he’s taking notes than he just forgot to put it down
8:12PM: Harris, please sit down. NO WALKING ACROSS THE STAGE UNLESS YOU’RE DELIVERING WATER.
8:13PM Huckabee wants us to listen to “the generals with blood on their boots.” Wow, things are bad.
8:15PM: Oh, I’m sorry, was there substance? What I’ve learned so far: Reagan = good, terrorism = bad. Also, John Harris has super sexy walk.
8:16PM Ron Paul, the Howard Dean of the right.
8:17PM I have to say, I like how pissed McCain seems. I’d be pissed, too, if those countries kept naming themselves SO SIMILARLY.
8:22PM Rudy: “It’s the worst nightmare — nuclear weapons in the hands of an irrational person.” Uh, yeah.
8:24PM It’s the DEMOCRATIC pitch that “this is about one person,” bin Laden? Who was buying that Osama toilet paper? Oh, but he recovers: “He will die.”
8:25PM McCain will “follow bin Laden to the gates of Hell,” or, you know, Ballston.
8:30PM Look at anti-Arnold guys! Maybe if Chris had named a foreign-born Republican who wanted to run for President…
8:31PM Romney loves America. His father, not so much — he was born in Mexico, after all… since the family fled the U.S. in order to practice polygamy. What was the question about amending the Constitution again?
8:32PM Roe v Wade repealed? “It would be ok,” says Rudy. Yeah, ok. Okay. You know, ok.
8:34PM “I’ve always been personally pro-life,” says Romney. I have no further joke.
8:35PM Brownback is pro-80 percent pro-life Republicans. “I think life is one of the central issues of our day,” he says. I THINK DEATH IS, Sam. DEATH. Like, you know, people dying. Speaking of which, “I hate abortion,” says Rudy, even more than he hates controversial art. Or, the Saint suggests: “I hate abortion,” says Rudy, even more than he hates ferrets.
8:37PM McCain has a great stump speech, but maybe he should not be quoting it now? He is pointing, tho. I like non-thumb pointing.
8:39PM Huckabee is all, like, presidential. Ron Paul needs a sandwich board and a megaphone. He and Gravel carpool together to these things, don’t they?
8:41PM Romney: “I don’t say anything to Roman Catholic bishops. They can do whatever the heck they want.” Except bad things involving teenage boys.
8:42PM Yeah, Chris, let’s play “gotcha” with Huckabee.
8:44PM Brownback just referred to his friend “Lieberman, a Jew.”
8:45PM Hunter is for a fence, and “It’s not that little scraggly fence you see on CNN.” It’s huge, massive fence. A REALLY LARGE, FIRM, STIFF FENCE.
8:47PM Tancredo wouldn’t have Karl Rove in his White House. Also, “This is as close as I’ve ever been to Air Force One.” Cherish it, Tom.
8:48PM Thompson (the one running) just cited his own popularity numbers. Drink.
8:50PM IMUS? Brownback manages to invoke IMUS? Also, SIT THE F*** DOWN, Harris.
8:53PM McCain. Angry AT THE LIGHTS.
8:54PM Tancredo: surprisingly not crazy sounding.
8:55PM Another thing I like about McCain: He’d rather just wrestle for it. And he has yet to suck up to Politico. What is it about Jim Vandehei that makes me want to punch him in the face? Nice guy, sure, but I … just… want … topunchhimintheface.
8:58PM Romney just completely dodged the stem cell question. Also, love Matthews making it ABOUT NANCY. Brownback: “We can’t ‘create people to cure people.’” CREATE PEOPLE? McCain says what most sane people think: let’s try to cure people.
9:01PM Romney somehow reminds me of someone performing “karaoke debate.” Are his lips moving? Nice tan, though.
9:03PM A word on the moderator: He’s not sucking. At least his head is not exploding. Not “all pants are made in China now” quotes.
9:04PM Killed with a dull ax behind the barn. Brownback frightens me.
9:07PM Okay, who needs the lozenge?
9:09PM McCain would appoint “Lieberman, Lieberman, and Lieberman”? I thought he was anti-cloning. Personally, I’m anti-cloning Lieberman.
9:10PM There are Presidential candidates who don’t believe in evolution. Their presence on the stage is not exactly much proof, is it…
9:12PM Rudy TOTALLY STUDIED for the Sunni/Shiite question. GOLD STAR.
9:13PM Ron Paul: “I trust the internet a lot more.” Can I get that on a bumper sticker? Or as a pin for my tin foil hat?
9:15PM Rudy: “I try to look at the half full glass, rather than the half empty glass.” You realize, Rudy, that there is only one glass, right? Okay.
9:17PM Rudy likes national ID cards, because you can then sell them in Times Square. Wait, what, now a fence? A “technological fence”? Okay, moving on. Romney just mentioned the Olympics, then said something about a card mentioning “their date.” Hubba hubba.
9:20PM LIBBY QUESTION!!!!! Romney’s tan distracts me. Now Chris is distracting me. Wait, Libby, ID, what? WHAT? Brownback is all about locking him up. Or is he? This is a bad 30 sec question. Also let’s ask about SHOOTING PEOPLE IN THE FACE.
9:23PM Shooting people in the face or…. Schiavo. Romney against Congressional involvement. Interesting. He’s really all over the f***ing place, isn’t he?
9:25PM Laughs for a Bill Clinton question. This is what we in the comedy biz call “low hanging fruit.” Huckabee pulling some kind of weird Arkansas mojo; he knows the Clintons better than anyone on the stage! Mental images unpleasant. McCain randomly namechecks Roberts. Uhm, ok. Rudy’s answer: We elect a Democrat, we’ll all die.
9:29PM I hate everyone.
9:30PM Oh, we can watch it again? Oh… oh… oh….